“I hope there's still something left in that bottle.” I nodded at the glass bottle Ethan was fiddling with and sat down on the red carpeted steps next to him. It's nice to be back home, even in these new, slightly unusual conditions.
"A little…" he smiled sadly and handed me the bottle. I drank the brandy gratefully, despite Katherine urging me to avoid alcohol while she stitched up my hand. It was a long and exhausting sermon, I managed to issue a whole series of orders and take care of messages. I wanted to use the time somehow before the drugs could numb me completely. I can't get over the painful and weirdly old/new feeling of having a fresh wound on my hand. Even after several long tens of minutes, it is still there. And I can't understand it. I couldn't imagine it and now I can't get rid of it. Even if I'd want to, it's stuck there. With me, forever. And yet it keeps reminding me of who I'm supposed to be. No more concessions. We let it go too far. I let it go too far. "You know something about…" he stopped.
“Actually, I was just there.” I showed him the bandaged hand to prove my words. "He hasn't woken up yet, but he's looking good. He's lost a lot of blood, almost all of it, in fact, and he won't be back on duty for a while. He's not responding very well to healing magic. But he needs rest, just like the rest of us, but he'll be fine."
"Fuck! This day can't really get any worse, can it?" he took a drink, set the bottle aside, and fixed his gray eyes on me. "I suppose yours isn't going according to the plan either." he paused again, pointing to my hand.
"You have no idea. I've found my new job to be a bit of a bummer. And I don't mean the crown thing… I've lost a good friend and almost lost another. I've led a woman I hate back into the arms of someone I really care about and I got hurt by a pretty nasty weapon." the gaze of both of us went to the hand that was covered. All the painkillers Katherine gave me are not working one bit. I keep feeling more and more pieces of shards sinking deeper. They cut their way through the flesh and don't stop at the bones. It burns and stings and yet there's something numb there just waiting to be awakened and I'm quite terrified of finding out what it is.
What a day, why was I so eager to be hurt by my own sword? What the fuck happened to me there? I wanted something so stupid to happen so badly. Akd somehow it turned into this great thing thanks to which I finally know what I want. Why is it the only thing that makes sense to me?
Although, the wound doesn't bother me nearly as much as the missing ring. Ethan motioned for me to elaborate. I don't even know where to start. I can't tell him a good half of what happened, and I probably don't want to talk about the rest. “I don't think I'm engaged anymore.”
"Yeah, so… you won that one. Holy Light! I don't know if I should hug you or go get another bottle." he said in disbelief, putting his arm around my shoulders. I'm glad I bumped into Ethan on the way to bed. We've become good friends lately and I don't want him to be alone. He gave the guard a day off, being the only one who wants to watch over me. As if I'm someone to be protected. He wants to watch over my apartment, but there's nothing inside that needs protecting anymore. The book is gone. And I have a feeling no one cares about the rest. "What happened? Everything seemed fine between you two at the party."
"Everything is perfect, that is, if you don't mind finding your fiancé in bed with someone else." I smirked. Compared to other problems that can threaten the whole world, the smallest one bothers me the most. It's too selfish, but I want to allow myself a few minutes of self-pity before I get back to bigger things. I can do that, can't I?
"That can't be." Ethan frowned beside me. He stopped playing with his own ring and looked at me. "You haven't seen the way he looks at you. The way he talks about you. It's not just his affection or attraction, he respects you and really cares about you. He loves you. It doesn't make sense. The guy would do anything for you, he's totally obsessed with you. And personally, I feel like he enjoys turning down other ladies just because of you. I know you aren't wrong often, but are you sure about this?" the guy, that's an interesting designation for His Majesty. Pretty apt.
“I'm not sure about anything after this day, Ethan.”
“You need this more.” he handed me the bottle.
"Well, I'd say we can drink later. I don't even have the energy to get mad anymore." I slowly got up and turned to him. "I just wanted to warn you about Jonathan and the other Heirs. I need to get a few hours of sleep and even if someone tries to wake me up…" I yawned. Ethan got up to walk up the stairs with me. "just say Iyeantira if anyone asks."
"What should I say… I- laenra…" the carpet in the hallway outside my apartment is missing, as are all the blood stains. And everything stinks of disinfectant and some other chemicals. Great, what are the charms for... I went into the living room, straight to the table, where I wrote the word for him on a piece of paper. He can't pronounce it, maybe even read the syllables.
“Just show them this.” I handed him the paper and bit my lip. He looks as tired as I feel. He must have been up all night. And all morning. What time is it actually? Oh, shit. “Actually keep that paper with you and get some sleep too. Right here.”
"Nay,"
“That's an order.” I took out a book with a black cover from the library and pulled out a small vial from it. I find it amusing to hide the potion in the dream-book.
"Your Mage?"
The stupid little title he gave me never ceases to amaze me. He wants to ask something and still hesitates. Other times I would probably be amused by it. "Whatever you want, ask quickly before I fall asleep."
"At the celebrations, we… we saw…" he frowned in confusion. It's charming with that scar of his. "She was there, wasn't she? She really was… in the flesh and everything."
"Yeah she was. You saw my mother in the flesh. Just don't mention it in front of the other Heirs. They'd make you forget it. And just between us, she's not that interesting. In fact, she's awful. I'll explain it to you one day. I promise." I poured golden whiskey into a nearby glass and dripped four dark red drops from the vial. "I'll need you when I wake up and I'll be calmer if you could get some rest. I'll see you in four hours." I swallowed the now much darker liquid. And before I hit the pillow, I was asleep.
Something disturbed the darkness again. If I wanted dreams, I would go to bed without help. I don't care for any recaps. And a glimpse of a possible future. I just want darkness and silence.
A tall white door invites me in, slowly opening as I approach it. Everything here is white and shines with purity. To some degree of innocence. It looks the same here as in the Senate, but still completely different. I don't know my own subconscious like that. I imagined it more like a dark hole in which I should be lost forever. Or something similarly poetically dilapidated.
The round hall in front of me is full of figures, I notice that they are all women and a few more steps closer to them, I can make out their faces. Only one common face, my face. Each of them is a little different, and yet they are the same, in white dresses. Their clothing is different, but the color unifies it. So my subconscious mind and quite possibly my conscious mind have definitely gone crazy. I put my sanity aside and welcomed something new, insane. And a fun one, no doubt. This is going to be very interesting.
"You finally made time for us." my own voice comes from somewhere else entirely, but it's definitely good I'm used to listening to my own speeches. A woman with a long braid in tight pants and a tank top folded her arms. One of her hands is covered in a bandage, as is mine.
"Give her some time, she needs to recover. She hasn't been here yet." she was fixed by another version of me with loose hair in a loose dress. I hate loose clothes.
“This is the weirdest figment of my imagination yet.” I stopped in front of a semi-circle of my mimics. They all look at me like some sort of showpiece or booty. It probably depends on the point of view of each of them.
"We are not a figment of your imagination. We co-exist with you. Kind of." the third of them has her hair in a high bun. She sits cross-legged in a white jacket with a high collar. A true image of the Hales. That pisses me off too, just like the dress.
"We are the results of the choices you will make in the future." summed up the first one. She's trying too hard to be harsh. Like Damien, she flaunted the scars she had accumulated over the years. Again, I'm not such a fan, they look ugly and make me look older.
"And that's supposed to do me any good? Besides, can I make the choices? I can't decide on all the options at once. Or can I?" why am I arguing with myself? Does it even make sense? Maybe I've really gone crazy, that's exactly how I always imagined it. Something so crazy there's no going back. And split personality is, well, definitely on the list.
“We are here to help you understand the future.” the one with the collar stood up. “You need our help.” she urges on. Just a moment and she'll overstep. Which is weird, she should know what pisses me off. If she is me, at least a little.
I looked through them all, there are two more that didn't speak. One of them is crouching in her chair, I can't see her face well enough. The last one is filing her nails with complete disinterest, wanting people to look at her plunging neckline rather than her face. Another possibility of how to view the whole thing. "I will not take orders, not even from me." I said worriedly. I'd rather go back to the devastating nightmares. The one with me returning Steven's ring might not be bad. It will probably keep me company for quite some time.
The one with the loose dress stood up, walked over to me with a swaying gait. "We're not giving you orders, we're just giving you the information you're missing that could help you create the better future we lost. At least better according to you. Edgar has the diary, you already know that, and in a few hours, once the battle starts, someone will try to use it. Right in the city. Stop them or not, you might end up like one of us. The question in that case is which one will it be?"
“More or less like one of us.” added the one with the collar. "The future is not exactly given, we can only change the direction it takes."
"How?" I asked quickly, feeling myself waking up. "I don't know where…" the glowing white place disappeared, only darkness remained. Perfect!
That really helped.
Even potions can't silence my subconsciousness anymore, well, that's not exactly encouraging news. Now the only thing that will really help me sleep peacefully is complete loss of consciousness and death.
I turned to my back, still with my eyes closed, I tried to brush my hair off my forehead. The burning pain in my palm reminds me that nothing that happened was just a work of my imagination, whether the characters were real or not, everything else happened.
A Dun'Amanh has changed, Junior is still dead and my hand injured. And my life is approaching more disasters at breakneck speed. If only I could find a brake.
“I changed your bandage while you slept.” came a soft voice from the chair next to the bed. I sat up abruptly and opened my eyes. He is sitting in a chair with a cigar in his hand and an angry look. This is not the awakening I was hoping for. "Explain to me something, please. Are you trying to get yourself killed on purpose?"
"Why would I want to die?" I looked at him in surprise. It turns out to be an excruciatingly painful movement, but I have to see it. He's didn't had time to shave, looks so much older now.
“The first thing I told you was not to let go of that sword. Never."
"I didn't give it to him,"
"Keep it shut, Andrea." he cut me off sternly. "I've gotten used to your recklessness over the years. The fact that you conveniently bend the rules and follow only what you want, but this is a bit too much. Don't you think so?” I would like to tell him what I think, but I wait in silence. He'll never let me talk when he's this angry. And it would be hard for me to explain to him the feeling that I had never felt before. Not until Edgar had my sword with him. "Are you trying to prove something? Do you want to prove something to me or others? Does eternity seem too long and is this your way of shortening it? I would really like to understand. What do you think you are doing?"
The funny thing about Jonathan is that he tries not to look upset at all times. Even though he's scared to death now, his calm voice clearly wins over rage. "I didn't mean to scare you."
"Scare me? That's putting it mildly. I was scared when you came back from Oakfort. You have no idea how I feel right now. And it's not just about me. You know very well that it's never just about me. I was the only one who raised you and you know for the love of Light. Damien was beside himself with rage, I sent him back to Quasnaw because I couldn't stand his marching. And Steph is…well, let's just say the hole in the Barrier isn't bothering him much right now... I mean damned it, Anie! You said you were ready." I didn't expect such a flurry of words. Not right after I wake up. This is giving me such a headache because he has already listed so much. And it won't stop right away.
"I understand the rift upset you and the loss of the guardsman, but that doesn't excuse you from acting like a willful, irresponsible child. I thought you were better. You have responsibilities here, don't you?" he speaks perfectly calmly, as always, but I know that he is angry. He's really angry. I know his bored head-holding all too well. The last time I saw it was quite a few years ago. I almost got myself killed and took his army down with me.
"I've had enough of your reckless attempts to fix anything. I said you weren't ready. I'm not ready for this. I refuse to take part in this." I overstepped it this time. Getting hurt by that sword is his limit. It should be mine too, but hey... it kind of helped me get my priorities straight.
“I came back in one piece as you wished.” maybe a little damaged and with a small scratch, but still whole.
"Does this strike you as an opportune moment for these remarks?"
"Well, it probably doesn't get any better." I know he's right, but I can't help it. "I've been more upset about the other things than Junior's death, but that's not the point. Edgar has Katary's journal and is ready to give it to the two. I didn't have time to look for you and explain everything." I looked at my hand at the mention of him. I will have to change the bandage again soon. The carefully stitched wound continues to bleed. Great. "Why didn't we destroy the thing a long time ago?"
"Since you don't have the journal, I daresay you could have returned and informed us. And it's not our job to destroy artefacts, Andrea." he explained quickly. I rolled my eyes and stood up. Katherine made me change while she checked all my injuries. Now that's handy. "Besides, Edgar is not your problem. You should have prepared for that battle. That's our deal. Your job is to lead the army, not to chase traitors.”
"Spare me your lesson, father." I took off my long sweater and replaced it with a much better looking red coat. "Our job is to control magic and what it does to the world around us. And right now we're doing nothing. At least I'm trying to stop some of it."
"Yeah, you're the saviour and the three of us are just fucking around… what happened between you and Steven?" he asked between puffs of smoke. “He seemed pretty upset.”
"You talked to him?" I straightened my shirt and turned back to him. His expression didn't change a bit. Bored, he continues to inhale smoke. When he asks like that, it means Steven didn't tell him anything, but why? They are such good friends. And my father, with his penchant for alternating mistresses, would surely understand.
"Of course. When he couldn't find you, he found me."
How come he couldn't find me? If he tried a little... it doesn't matter. I have another job. "It's nothing," I lied, still trying to escape thoughts of his apartment, the scattered pillows, his bedroom. I'm sure it happened, it just doesn't seem real. It shouldn't be. Jonathan looked at me in disbelief but said nothing. "I'll talk to him later."
He took a breath to say something but just shook his head. He put down his cigar and stood up. “I thought you wanted to talk to Elizabeth later."
"No, you wanted me to talk to her." he can piss me off with a single sentence, I clenched my fists and immediately realised a painful mistake. I can only clench one fist, but just trying to clench the other one is excruciatingly painful. At the limit of my tolerance. "I have nothing to say to her!"
"Well then, you'll just listen," he objected. “She's still your mother.”
"So what? This is your only argument that you pull out every time." I raised my voice. I've had enough of this pretence. "She's my mother as much as all your other girlfriends! She's not part of this family and she never will be."
“At least I finally know what you're thinking.” he still sounds calm, but I could tell this one hit him.
"I've never made a secret of it."
"No," he smiled sadly as he added. "but you never said that to my face."
“We've never been good at being honest with each other, Dad.” I shrugged and slipped into my coat. Why haven't I put it on yet? I need to sort out my thoughts somehow. "I have to go, later I..." I wanted to say that we'll finish it later. But how? Will there be any after that? "Is Ethan here?"
“He's already at camp in Alryne."
"Ah..." I thought. Stephan is taking care of the spell or will take care of it when he calms down, Damien is in Quasnaw, my place is in Alryne. "Look after the capitol for me until I’m back." Jonathan nodded.
"Andrea, try to come back in one piece and conscious, at least once. Please." going back once for a change without another injury would be a nice change. “I'm really tired of seeing your body covered in blood. Weird as it might seem, I prefer seeing the little girl in you.”
“I can promise you I'll try.” I came to him and hugged him. I don't want to worry him. I'm already torturing him with everything I do. I can tell by how tightly he holds me. He doesn't want to let me go, but he's very reasonable and realises he doesn't have the choice. “Guess you never imagined me when you pictured your kid.”
“That's not even remotely funny.” he smiled anyway. I know he did.
"Of course not. We're Hallies’ descendants and we have to be so serious about everything. Just don't frown so much, it doesn't suit you at all. I'll get back one way or another."
I had to find Vas'Tarre in the camp among the crowds of men and women. I wanted to check her mages yesterday, but circumstances didn't allow me to. “Your Majesty…” she bowed slightly and looked at me with bright, almost white eyes, framed by a thick black line. Similar to Will, her eyes have that odd colour with a hint of yellow. I really wonder why. I mean, I know magic is to blame and it's because of us, but how precisely? "shall I call them again?"
"Please," I nodded, leaned against one of the wooden posts and waited. A hot spring day and a cloudless sky do not go well with a camp full of tension. But all that organised mess is so easy to look at. Soldiers in uniform march to and from their commanders running between them, giving out orders in all directions. Now they are also dodging a passing general with Lessi and Ethan hot on his heels. "I heard you're already here. I have a message for you.” he began loudly from a distance. With an outstretched hand, he approaches with a stack of messages. And I thought I didn't miss that much.
"Nothing stays secret here, huh? As usual." I laughed. Of course it's not a secret, soldiers love to gossip. Just like everyone warns each other when an inspection is approaching. I'm waiting for Vas to come back and at the same time I allowed myself to stop in front of everyone. So the news must have been around the whole camp by now. “Keep the reports, just tell me when you think it's going to break. They sped it up a bit."
“Not until morning according to all reports, but,” he looked around and continued in a lower voice. “why would they wait? They don't need to rest and they can see better in the dark than we do."
"So we're down to the last few hours." I smirked. Even my subconscious or whatever it was promised me a few hours to the decisive battle. “Talk to the other commanders and prepare them for this.”
"Well, but Athran doesn't expect the attack sooner." he argued cautiously. Is that how quickly all gossip spreads? Ethan and Remis are close, if one knows…
"At least they won't get in my way." I answered. I honestly don't care if Steven decides to join or not. I can't stop him, not now. And I can't count on him getting drunk again and sleeping through the whole thing. It would be best. He would stay away from everything, but… I remembered the Barrier again and that horribly annoying rift. The pain inside that place. Athran won't help me much with this, every casualty, every soldier that falls today will only increase the chances of everything falling apart. Literally. And I don't like such prospects.
"And if we need reinforcements?" if I didn't know Remis so well, I'd start to think he’s seriously worried. I studied the man in front of me for a while until I came to a final decision.
A small roll of paper, tied with a golden ribbon with a bright red seal formed in my hand. I straightened up to address him. “Hanno Lessius, on behalf of the Hallies Heirs, as his one and only Successor, I request you as Second-in-Command to awaken the Atta and Leia divisions of the Fifth Army at my command and prepare them to attack.”
"Madam, I am honoured." Lessius bowed deeply, took the scroll reverently, and disappeared before my eyes, and everyone else's.
"Well, we should have reinforcements ready." I looked around with a smile. Everyone in sight is looking at me. “Perfect.” Remis chuckled.
Very nice.
Mages began to gather around us. Betrayed by their expressions, showing exactly how they feel. It's to be expected, most of the mages in front of me are still children. Vas'Tarre only got the newly arrived mages under her command, those who came here directly from the Academies or applied. And no one wanted to volunteer for this. Well, almost no one. There is always a gambler. So in a group of thirty-two gathered mages, the youngest might be nineteen or twenty. And that's not enough. Even to my taste.
“Caelen, get the commanders together, please.”
"Do you want Athran there too?" he asked suspiciously. He must have already talked to Ethan about the damn ring missing from my hand. And my nod will have to be enough of an answer. I don't want them there, if anything, I want to avoid it. But a deal is a deal. I don't break my word and it doesn't matter which Steeles I gave it to.
"How's the hand?" Ethan stood next to me, genuinely interested in how my injury was doing. It is nice.
"It hurts so bad," I answered honestly, the searing pain not bothering me nearly as much as the bleeding. I know that the injury caused by this sword is not easy to heal, but I am starting to take this disobedience of my own body personally. "but it's nothing that would stop me."
"Shocker." Ethan laughed. "Is there anything to stop you?"
“A hangover, usually. Like the other three, I can't handle ordinary human problems.” I answered truthfully and seriously. Ethan laughed again.
I walked over to the gathered group of mages. Mounted at attention in two rows, they wait to see what I will come up with. I'm interested in the same thing. "At ease," I ordered immediately. "I don't have time for this and neither do you. I need to know you're ready and your saluting won't convince me of that. Not only have none of you ever stood on the battlefield, but today we face no ordinary adversary. It could almost seem like we are at a disadvantage.” my words haven't encouraged them much yet. The naive faces in front of me still believe that at the end of the day, they will become heroes their younger classmates will look up to. Problem with that is, a good half of them will not live to see it. It is therefore useless to embellish the truth and promise them an easy victory. It will be bloody and for the most part tragic. “Our adversaries are fast, bloodthirsty and more than anything evil. You have become part of the army of a country that prides itself on never losing. But don't be fooled. A battle awaits you in which there is no room for individuals. You have an important task ahead of you. And it all depends on how you approach it.” I paused. I glanced over them, a small part of me wishing they were a little older. Five years would make a difference. At least for me. But I don't have anything better. I'd rather sacrifice them than… the man I chose to love. All this because of the man I promised to save to a friend who lost himself in the process. And I have to somehow justify all of it. To me, other Heirs, my people.
"Our job is to stop them. Slow down. Give others a chance to send them down.” the young man in front of me spoke. He can't be more than twenty, short hair blowing to the sides in the wind. "We have quite a few spells that we can use for this, mostly elemental," he recites like a poem, he's still a student more than a soldier. A young child who volunteered to die. And I'm supposed to just smile and pretend it's not fucking like that.
Why am I even upset about it? It's not the first time or the last time I've done it. Sometimes, there are sacrifices to be made.
A slightly younger woman next to him drew a circle and wrote more symbols inside. She developed a fairly effective shield around her companions. The others joined her with their own spells, fire alternating with ice and vice versa. They really seem as prepared as possible in the little time they've got. They absolutely know the theory. But what will they do on the battlefield, in the confusion and blood? Smells and screams? Another of them conjured a convincing wall of fire, all it's missing is a stench of burning flesh.
"Enough," I stopped their efforts with my hand. Their own spells have dissolved beneath their hands and they have no idea how I did it. Fortunately, in this case, it shouldn't interfere with my plan in any way. "You have carefully studied the theory, which you will soon put into practice. No one can adequately prepare you for your first battle. When you stand on the battlefield and people start dying around you, when you want to disappear, terrified by everything around you, remember who you are.” I raised my voice slightly. “You are students of the Imperial Academy of Zessia, which has helped train the best of the best for centuries. You are part of this tradition and should be rightly proud. You stand here because you are our best hope to stop this attack on our home. You are hope not only for yourself, but for all our people. You are the first and last line of defense, not only of our country.” I wanted to raise both hands in front of me, but I can only control one. I finished the spell I had been preparing since I arrived with the last rune. Golden talismans hung around the necks of the young mages. "We must not allow our land to remain unprotected from Narral, its degrading rules for mages, their barbaric behaviour and selfish use of power." the talismans around their necks began to light up one by one. They are absolutely perfect. My little gift from the Emperor’s realm. Sort of like his contribution to my endeavour here. "As long as there is one last ray of hope on your way,"
"THERE IS LIGHT!" they shouted almost enthusiastically. A smile spreads across both lines. Their commander Vas'Tarre is the only one who’s expression didn't change. She knows exactly how such enthusiasm ends, in tears with their arms covered in other people's blood.
I don't think it could have gone any better. I may be sending them to their deaths, but they won't get it until it's too late. And as long as the enemies are around, everything will work out perfectly. I just hope they've come to terms with the fact they don't have to come back.
“Intelligence is counting on the attack tonight.” I announced quietly as the commander joined me and Ethan.
"And you?" he's watching the mages in front of us. They enthusiastically started talking to each other. More encouragement by the medallions than my words.
"I trust Remis. We must be ready." a new wave of pain poured over my palm, the painkillers having finished their work. I feel as if new shards have appeared in the wound, trying to get deeper into the flesh.
They cut through the skin again. Slowly killing me.
What if they really are there? Could pieces of glass have remained there? Were there any at all? My sword looks as perfect as ever. Katherine didn't find any, but what if they were hiding. What if she missed them?
"What did you give them?"
It has to be just my feeling. The wound is clean. Katherine examined it. Very thoroughly, I urged her to do it. So what's wrong with the injury? Could she have missed something or is this simply a pain I have gotten used to not feeling? Maybe it just takes time. As is the case with humans. Natural healing robs them of so much time. How long does it take for such an injury to heal? A few weeks? Months?
"Andrea?" Ethan touched my hand lightly and helped me put it down. I have no idea when I raised it up and started hypnotising it with my gaze. The bandage and everything underneath it is mesmerising, fascinating and so ominous.
"What?" one of them asked me a question before. What did they want from me? The bright eyes of both my friends scan me. Quite worried.
"Those pendants, what are they for?" she asked.
"It's an insurance policy in case some of them die." the worry on both faces deepened. “Then it goes boom.” I added in a whisper and started to walk. I need to get to the tent and check the injury myself. The only time I saw it was when Kate was stitching up my hand and it looked ugly. It's a clean cut, deep, but nothing too complicated. According to her, the deep wound didn't damage the nerves, but I'm not so sure. I can't control my own fingers and every movement hurts terribly, but that's probably normal. The injured hand swelled up, that makes sense to me. I should understand that. In essence, it is a simple injury. Such as I have seen thousands of, healed hundreds of. But what about the pain? Why do I feel like there is something inside? Why doesn't it suddenly seem so simple?
I pulled back the tarpaulin of my own tent, red banners welcomed me in the makeshift shelter. I should have been more careful when they asked me about it. Now my tent is stupidly far, so that I have a view of the whole camp, but inconveniently pushed back. It never occurred to me that anyone in war would need privacy. Why would we? In a place where people die in pain, screaming, not exactly gracefully.
At least it's comfortable inside. Only the standard of the Fifth is missing. It must be here any moment now. I sat down in the chair, Ethan followed me. He quickly understood how things were here, handed over a bottle and two glasses without any stupid questions and lectures, and sat down with them across from me.
“Everyone except Adrian has already returned to the capitol.” he drunk. "He said he has to finish something. He's very stubborn, but I didn't want to order him around. I don't think he'd be any good here anyway."
“I can't remember why you changed the service schedule. I've had a drink too, I need to get my courage up before I take off the bandage. Whoever put this tent here knows I prefer vodka. So, Emmett? Is he still here?
“Me neither, Kaleb came up with the idea of swapping shifts with Junior, but I don't know why. “ he fiddled with his hair as he looked straight into my eyes. “It didn't sound like a bad idea.”
“I’m not blaming you, Ethan.” I removed the small clip and unwound a piece of bandage. "It doesn't matter who was there. It probably would have turned out the same, I'm proof of that. Edgar really fucked it up this time." I said, getting to the part of the bandage that is already soaked in blood, I quickly unwound the rest and threw the soaked cloth on the floor. With a wave of my hand, I let a first aid kit appear on the table. I can't say I have any great confidence in an improvement, but it's not like this injury isn't survivable either. After all, I'm not the first in the family to be wounded by that sword.
"Can't you heal it?" he asked curiously, taking out the disinfectant and carefully cleaning my wound. I bit my own lip, the thing stings terribly, but the stitches didn't even move. That's good news, I think. A potential infection could theoretically kill me, permanently, but probably not very quickly. I can finish it here today, get that book back and fix the world. And after that who knows. Maybe I'll give up and leave this world to its own fate. If it ended up in darkness, who would notice?
"I can't," I hissed through clenched teeth. "did you ever notice we're the only ones with the damn swords? There's a reason for that." Ethan carefully placed a pad soaked in Azzatti healing paste over the wound. I'm pretty sure the paste won't help me at all. No magic works on this injury, and it won't work, period. Those are the rules. But it smells nice, it reminds me of the herbs used to make calming tea. "Can you pull out three of the blue pills for me?" I nodded my head to the glass in the medicine cabinet.
"It says here that you are to take only one." he commented, dutifully pouring the required amount into my set hand.
I smiled sadly at the memory of a similar conversation with Steven. I'm slowly starting to miss her. I should have listened to his explanation. Maybe it would make sense. And maybe, I could get the truth. He hates lies about as much as I do, or so he claimed. His reasons are much more complicated I'd say, I just don't like how sick it makes me. He probably does it out of respect, trust and things like that.
But why would he lie to me? I know him very well, this behaviour doesn’t suit him. He usually drinks a lot less than I do. Even during celebrations and outside of work. And he seems to me a lot more responsible, at least, as far as the whole kingship thing is concerned. He otherwise handles his life quite irresponsibly, but not in this direction. But strange things have been happening lately, so what do I know? Maybe he's finally had enough of everything just like me and this was the easiest way out.
I swallowed the bitter pills and washed their taste with more alcohol. Meanwhile, Ethan wrapped my hand in a new bandage. He's doing awfully well like some very skilled in the area. Which means he's been a commander for far too long. "Thanks." I slowly stood up.
Before we even went to Remis's tent, I forced Ethan to eat with me. We both quickly agreed that neither of us could remember the last time we had eaten. And this situation will probably repeat itself with the approaching battle. It would be hard for me to describe whether it should be breakfast or lunch, or perhaps dinner? I only managed to get in a piece of pastry and what looked like soup, but I didn't really care, I can't use cutlery now anyway.
One of the guards managed to inform me that everyone was already waiting for us inside. This is another piece of news that brought a slight smile to my face. After all, I have to live up to my reputation and not be on time. That just doesn't sit well with me.
And as it turned out, the young man in uniform really meant everyone. Remis, his deputy Kensington and their chosen commanders formed their own group, surrounded by a pile of messages. Vas'Tarre is standing just a short distance from Darien and his deputy Thorton, they probably don't have much to talk about. Among the other uniformed commanders from both Zessia and Athran is Emmett. Apparently even Catarina can't get him far enough from here. He had to stubbornly insist on returning to the front. And then there's him. With his arms folded across his chest and an angry look in the green eyes that instantly changed when our eyes met. Some part of me wants to run to him, leave everything in the past and forget. Monogamy is equally incompatible with eternity. The other part screams at me not to do any of this, to not even think about it.
A searing pain brought me back to reality very quickly. I took three of those damn pills and they only worked for an hour at most. Bad news for me. I took a deep breath to let the pain go, his cedar perfume already filling the tent. Instead of relief, my stomach tightened. I bit my lip hard and went over to the map. This meeting is pissing me off already. "We have to somewhat reconsider our strategy, our losses must be cut to a minimum and on the contrary we must increase theirs." I looked at the situation on the map. On the enemy side, several units of Chastisers are ready for us, according to the patrols. We'll have to get rid of them so they don't get in the way of my mages and fuck with the plan, since it's kind of crucial for them the mages to get in a certain radius. Stephan assured me in his last message that the Barrier would hold up no matter what happens today. He assured me he took care of it, but I can't bring myself to believe it. I just don't have much of a choice.
In addition to the massive onslaught from this battle, there's still the Twins with their plans and Edgar with that stupid book somewhere. I promised myself it would end today. That's my job. My plan. And I should damn well go with it. "We'll push the first line back a few metres. Our mages will attack first once the enemies are in sight and as the enemies get to the original line you'll blow it up. That should keep them busy and maybe distract them a bit. You'll retreat closer to the town, about a kilometre from the walls and you will form a new line beyond which no one can get. The Fifth will be in the lead, leading the charge against them, but someone must cover its flanks. The flat ground in front of the city won’t help us much."
“That’ll make the whole situation so much more chaotic,” said Remis.
"We can't withdraw at the very beginning!" someone from Steven's side objected.
"We won't retreat completely, we'll just move a little. With any luck, we'll surprise them."
"We should go straight for them!"
"It's a terrible plan!"
"Enough." I managed to stop their complaints with a single word. Perfect. "I'm not going to explain why you don't want them to get close. We're all going to hold back as long as we can." I looked at the red pulsating line on the map for the hundredth time. "Soldiers will protect mages at all costs. And if a unit loses a mage, they will retreat."
This decision of mine raised a wave of questions and generally made everyone either worried or downright angry. Mages have a higher status in my, as in the Athran army. Their abilities provide a number of advantages, but they never cause an entire unit to withdraw. But the way I see it is that without mages, ordinary mortals have no advantage in this battle, on the contrary, they are quite disadvantaged. And I need them to get rid of every damn shapeshifter. As Stephan likes to refer to them. It's a more apt label than the undead, which they aren't, I'll leave it to him.
“I hope you have a good reason for that, Ans. Emmett interrupted everyone. "This is sheer madness, to issue such an order. There will be confusion, we are putting ourselves at greater risk. Have you even thought about it?" suddenly there was silence. I can feel their eyes on me, but I can't look up from the map. Focusing on the signs in front of me is easier.
"It's nothing to think about, it's just the situation we're in. I need it to end here. That army of theirs ends here. Tonight we end Narral's disobedience and their failed attempt at cheating death." I don't really care about Emmett's opinion at this point. "Steven?"
“It's very risky,” he began cautiously. I bet he's looking at the damned map between us just like me. It's much easier that way. "Mainly because the Chastisers will try to get rid of our mages at the first opportunity. The advantage is that the Chastisers stick together, unlike our mages. And scouts report three large groups." he paused. I have a feeling he came up with a plan.
"I won't mind if they go down with Narral. So," I convinced myself to look into the green eyes. My heart almost stopped. Just as I await his reaction, he awaits mine. "we have to split up." Steven nodded with a serious face. "I will lead the attack with the Fifth, we will stop them as far from the city as possible," I looked at the map again. The space in front of Alryne is large and open. Our only protection will be the city walls, hundreds of meters behind us and the forest beyond the borders of my country. "Southern and Remis will join from the south and they will cover one side for us, Athran from the opposite direction the other." units move across the map under my hands as I speak. "And together we will make sure that none of them are left standing."
"You can't lead an army," Emmett's voice again interrupted another wave of protests and comments.
"Why couldn't I?" I asked angrily. Emmett just nodded to my hand. A very upset Damien must have spoken to him and explained in detail what had happened. That is, to the details that I shared with him and Jonathan. It wouldn't be wise to share with them my inexplicable desire to get hurt or the feeling before that where I just gave up. The question is whether Steven already knows what happened. I would say no. He stands too still for that. He seems too calm - angry, but not raging. “I don't need both hands to give orders.”
"We both know you'll be right up front. You are, after all, the only one with a weapon that can kill them for good." he took a step towards the map, stopping just short of the table. "But how will you defend against them with only one hand, genius? You can't cast spells and swing your sword at the same time."
“I don't need my hands to cast spells.” I whispered, we both leaned over the table. Hazel eyes focused only on me. I can't help it. If Emmett of all people wants to underestimate me, I'm happy to prove him wrong. "I can easily show you. Here and now. It's been a long time since someone had to carry you out of our meeting. About fifty years." I don't need any Steeles to tell me what to do. What the fuck is he playing at? I don't answer to him. None of them.
"Fine, do it. You don't have two days to wait for me to wake up." maybe I don't want to wait. At least he wouldn't be in danger that way. I should just send him to unconsciousness and deal with him later.
“Your Majesty, your secretary is here.” a female voice said behind me.
"SO WHAT?!" I shouted. I turned sharply to the woman in the white dress. I've never seen her before. What does she have to do with Riley and what does she even want here? Is she helping him with another betrayal? “I don't answer to my fucking secretary.” I added.
My patience really ran out this time. In a white dress, she fell down to her knees, hitting the grass and mud beneath her. "Abaley." she squealed in terror before her body came to a complete stop and she remained on her knees obediently, looking right at me. Ethan mumbled something. That word explained a lot. Riley didn't come back, Adrian brought him. The question is why. It's always this one word.
I turned back to all the commanders and other here gathered important people. The new development of our situation took them by surprise, so to speak. That one moment when one of us sends someone to the ground with just a thought always catches everyone by surprise. Like they forgot we could do it. I mean, can someone even forget something so basic as there are at the moment, literally four people who hold control over their body? "I appreciate your concern, really. You can pass it on to her." I thanked Emmett. “And your objections are also… very helpful." I'm trying not to sound ironic. So freaking much. But none of them can possibly understand how badly this can end. For most, the Barrier is just a holdover from worse times. They forget the power that is on our side. The magic that keeps everything safe. And that that thing dies with me. "No one from Narral will come near the city. Hallies Fifth army will lead the attack, Remis will join as soon as it breaks out, and so will Athran. We will not give them a chance to win and we will not let them retreat. If they run, you will run after them. Today's battle will end the whole charade. Those are my orders, I won't change them. And neither will you, unless you want to answer to me and the other Heirs. And when you're on the battlefield, try to remember you serve a country that never loses. Never." I nodded back at Ethan, we both got out of Remis's tent and walked all the way back to mine. We effectively killed a few minutes with that walk. Ethan learned very quickly when to be quiet again.
“Adrian, you really have an uncanny sense of timing." by that I mean it's worth shit. I sealed the entrance to the tent behind me with a rune. I don't want anyone listening in on this conversation.
"I'm sorry, I think this can't wait. Someone tried to kill your secretary, but I managed to bring him in in one piece." he grinned proudly. His uniform looks awful, torn and dirty. Maybe an angry bear tried to tear Riley apart. This would match the condition of Adrian's uniform. But what is it to me that someone wants to kill him? I don't blame them. I want Riley dead too. "You won't believe me. He was a very big guy. Bigger than Dex and,”
“Did he look like someone pissed in his face? Wrinkled face, a scar above the eye, almost as if he couldn't see." Adrian stopped. He nodded confusedly. "Where was it?"
“A short walk from Cino. Towards our borders. There is a village there.”
“Ava'Cino, I know. That's real fucking cool… don't get me wrong, but I'm surprised you're still alive. To fight him,”
"I didn't fight, we ran."
They had to run pretty fast. And luck certainly played its part. Adrian looks tired, downright exhausted. His uniform is useless, his hair is full of dirt. He could use a few hours of sleep. At the same time, I can tell him right away that he is only at the beginning of all of this. There is a certain type of person who just won't stop at anything. And Adrian started the hunt.
"Where is?" Ethan couldn't stand the silence. Adrian motioned his hand behind him. I still can't figure out what happened between Riley and Ethan though.
“Ethan, try to keep it shut.”. I went around Adrian. Riley is sitting on my bed, just like Adrian's uniform, his clothes are ruined. The secretary holds his head and sobs. He has an injured leg, nothing serious, his ripped pants reveal several gashes on his thigh. Otherwise he seems fine. What the fuck did he get himself into? He’s going to change clothes even if he rubs against something in the Palace and now the Twins are behind his ass? Sending their loyal pet soldier after him? How does someone like him get into such a mess? And more interestingly, how did he stay silent about it for so long? He reports to me every guardsman with a poorly buttoned uniform, every little flaw in the Palace…
"I can't… I don't want to anymore. He wanted to know where Athes' hall was and how to get in undetected…"
"Who?" I asked confused. He means Edgar or Julien. Or someone else entirely? Maybe a little more robust, with a cretinous nature and a terrible upbringing.
I should start teaching my people how to report quickly and clearly. Riley burst into tears. Which isn’t very helpful. I put my hand on his shoulder, forcing his body to calm down so he can answer me, even though I'd rather punch him. There’s so much rage in me, coming from all directions. And submitting to it would be the end of all of us. I just need a name. “Addison, I need to know.”
“Duke… of Narvin.” he whispered.
"When?"
"After that battle begins, I don't know exactly when." he pulled himself together a bit. "I betrayed you." for the first time, he looked at me with the look of a broken man. How could I miss all that? “I just wanted to protect my daughters… I just wanted to protect them.” Riley cried. I should honestly feel sorry for him. If this is why he was doing all this. Then it puts all his actions in a completely different light. But why didn't he tell me about it? And why do I still have such a need to hit him? Why wasn’t I there for him? For anyone?
"Adrian, go back to the Palace with Riley, take him to the infirmary, find Katherine and keep him under guard. My father is there too, tell him I want him to find his daughters." I stood up, Riley grabbed my hand tightly.
“You can't go there.” his gaze rested on my injured hand. "He'll be waiting there."
"I know." that's the reason why I have to get there. Now I know the place and the time.
"I don't mean just the duke," bright eyes locked on me. He wants to warn me of a danger I know more about than anyone else. He warns me about Julien and everything I’ve feared for so long. Only after all that waiting, the fear is gone. There’s just anger left in me.
"I know, Addison. Edgar is just a pawn in this case." scared, he let go of me. If Adrian doesn't take him away soon, he's going to pass out here with terror. "Go already." the tall, dark-skinned man nodded. “Ethan, maybe you should go back to the Palace as well.”
“Forget it.” he scowled at me and turned to his man. "Good job Adrian. Once you’re in the capitol, find someone to replace you. Aron will be ready. Get change and rest."
“Thank you, sir.” he saluted and took up his new task. He picked Riley up lightly, fished in his pocket, pulled out his coin and they both disappeared.
"Emmett's right, isn't he? You can't fight."
"Ans!" came a shout from outside.
"Did you rehearse this?" I asked irritably. I waved my hand again, the tarp formed a hole. Emmett is already waiting with his hands on his hips.
"What the fuck happened between you two?" started immediately. "I have lost command of the entire army, ma army! His Majesty I know better, will handle it all by himself." he shouted. Ethan moved out of his way and walked out of the tent.
"Why does it bother you, you handed over command. I thought you'd be gone by now." I objected calmly. There's no point in yelling, I really hate arguing with him. He always carefully prepares his arguments in advance. And now he had plenty of time to come here.
"I handed it over temporarily. I wasn't planning on leaving, I already told you I don't like running. I have a job here, or at least I did." he threw up his hands. "Shit, I told you to talk to Steven, didn't I? The fuck happened?!"
"I talked to him, I gave him your message." I defended myself.
"And after that?" he unbuttoned his uniform, threw off his coat, and pulled up his shirt sleeves. I shrugged my shoulders. What does he want to hear? That his brother is unable to last a single night alone in bed? Or that he, like his father, is convinced my family is incompetent and must interfere with everything? Supervise us personally? He probably doesn't even trust his own brother now that he's stripped him of command. Or, and what is probably the worst, he wants to prove he is just as independent and capable as the rest of us. I mean, most of us are capable, I'm at a distinct disadvantage right now. But then again, I’m the one in charge.
Hazel eyes glare at me as I try to think of something. “Em, I think I'm going to need your help.” maybe he's right, maybe I shouldn't be leading the Fifth. And if I am to hand over command, there is no one better than him. That way I will have the opportunity to get into the city unnoticed, leave the army behind and take care of the main thing.
“I would say so, yeah.” I didn't expect him to agree so quickly, even though he put on an ironic tone. He has no idea what he got himself into. He wants to command and fight like his brother, well, he should have it. I took us away quickly. So fast that he couldn't change his mind.
"Why are we here?" he asked in surprise as we emerged into the great hall of the Senate. Just a stone's throw from the awakening soldiers.
"Stephan and Damien have work, Jonathan is in Nerkam. And you're the closest thing I have to an Heir right now."
Emmett frowned in confusion. "What do you mean the closest, this isn't enough for you anymore?" he waved the ring on his right hand.
"It was always enough for me." Lessiuss approaches us with three other commanders. "The Fifth cannot go into battle without a commander. And you already commanded them." back then it was a colossal mess. I gave him command before I bled out in the middle of the battle at Tre'Asco. Which is theoretically forbidden, it was before, but the only one who bears responsibility for it is me. It's my army and I can do whatever I want with it. And he's not the worst choice.
"Call one of them back!"
"I can not." I lowered my voice. "And Dun'Amanh has changed, there's a crack in the Barrier and I don't have time to look for someone better now."
"Oh no!" he shouted. The muscles on his body tensed. He is perfect, he knows the other commanders and their men and they know him. He knows how they fight and he trusts them. As I trust him. "Not even a fucking chance!"
"Emmett Wolfric!" I yelled at him. "Stop cursing here!" I punched him in the shoulder with my good hand. I offer him the command he has lost and he bitches about it. "I'll wait in Alryne, keep an eye on everything, and rest my hand while I do so."
"Knowing you twenty years less, I would have thought you were lying. Knowing you fifty years less, I might have even believed you." he ran his hands through his hair, leaving his hands behind his head. “I can't lead the Fifth.”
"You won't lead it, not really. You will do exactly as I tell you." just like the last time, I will delegate the command to him. It's such a clever trick. And just like before, Damien will be furious and there will be trouble. But just like last time, I have no choice. Everything I'm trying to avoid is fulfilled by it, but that's how it goes sometimes. Especially if I am to prevent the worst. And unfortunately for me, it's not Steven's death, but the fall of the Barrier itself. And as much as I wish to prevent the former, I cannot allow the latter.
Hanno Lessius stopped beside us, his hand flying to his head as he kicked his heels. "Ma'am, everything is going according to your plan. Units A'tta and Le'ia are ready. We await further orders." I nodded. Two whole units, one thousand one hundred and twenty five each. These are small numbers compared to other prepared units, but should be plenty. Everything is set for the grand finale of this calamity.
"Okay, one thing after another. One of you must go to Thalus. Have him find the Second Heir and tell him that Zassin is back. Adrian saw him in Ava'Cino today. He should know, but Damien has to stick to today's plan. Remind him he voted and his place is in Quasnaw, no matter what.” one of Lessi's aides frowned, nodded, and left. "Now the command. Em, do you agree?" I turned to him. I need him to nod. I have to get the book back, on my own. And someone has to lead the army so Steven doesn't have to lead the charge on his. So he has a chance to get out of there alive and well.
"I don't agree, but I'll do it. I don't know what you're up to, but this way I can at least see to it that my brother survives this mess." he sighed. "What should I do?" I smiled at him. His smile froze on his face. I let him lead our army, our most powerful weapon, just so I can break the promise I made to Jon and put my life in danger again. But will it only be my life that will be at stake? If Edgar wants to hand over the diary, I have to stop him, one way or another. And even if it were to kill me, it might give everyone else a decent chance. It might give Steven and his big brother a chance to walk away from everything and resume a normal life. And that's not too bad. It’s actually comforting.
Plus, the sharp pain in the deep cut on my palm should only complicate things for me, not the rest of the empire.
"Lessius, I've changed my mind. As Second in Command, you now report to Emmett directly, just like everyone else. He will represent me. He will lead the attack at my command. Your duties will not change in any way. You will watch over him as you watch over me. And you will fulfil every one of his wishes as if it was one of mine. Do you understand me ?" I grabbed the wrist of the injured hand. I thought it would get better over time, not that it would get worse. And now it's definitely getting worse.
All eyes turned to my hand. They aren’t going to protest about the change of command. Even in their eyes I am not capable of fighting. "It will heal in time, right?" Emmett immediately lost all interest in command. He looks at me anxiously.
"In time..." I nodded. I have no idea how long it will take.
"Get ready, we're leaving in ten minutes." Emmett commanded. Lessius and his entourage turned. "Ans, I know you too well. I know you're up to something. Just promise me it won't be another piece of crap like that hand. I know you don't want to hurt him, but you can't let father hurt you. Ans, promise me he won't even touch you. Promise me, you’ll stop him, whatever that means."
"I already promised Jonathan that I would try to come back in one piece and conscious. I can't promise you any more." he quickly pulled me to him. He's crushing my injured hand, I endured it for a while for the feeling. He's the only constant in my life, he's always talking about the bar and leaving, but when it comes down to it, he's the only one who stays. "You're going to crush me." I finally spoke up.
"Sorry." he laughed apologetically.
"That's okay, now it's your turn to promise me the same." I had to tilt my head to look into the hazel eyes. He rolled them and nodded. "I love you Em. I really do."
"I love you too, Ans. That will never change."
"I know. You need a new uniform, though."
"Don’t you dare, I'd end up in white." I miss his sincere laugh so much. I can laugh with him even at times like this. “My armour will surely do.
"It certainly won't, but I guess I have no choice." I shook my head. Bright white would certainly suit him. The searing pain came again. It burns my hand. "I think this place makes the pain worse. Good luck, Em. And bring me back my army, eh?"
Comments