I'm not the least bit surprised Damien is waiting for me in one of the few bars in town, with a few empty shots in front of him and a young brunette next to him. I can only guess she is the older sister of the girl back in the tent. It's quite unusual to see she's sitting next to him and not directly on his lap. But that can probably be explained by the fact that Cristole joined him. "I can come later, it's not like I'm in a hurry or something." Damien, completely fascinated by the brunette, pays no attention to my words. He can't take his eyes off her for a moment and she's not even that pretty. He must have been interested in something else. Maybe her slim figure? Or general swagger, perhaps… that attracts him the most.
"Are you planning another miracle? Think of all those people." Cristole drank with a laugh. He looks as unkempt as ever, even though he's wearing a carefully designed uniform by Damien. His scars and crooked smile make everything worse. "They all have to pray for the rest of the day."
“Shut up Cris or you'll be the next one praying, just for something completely different.” I don't have time for his jokes. I have a bad feeling I know exactly where this is going. "Can we go?"
“We both know that Cristole unshakably believes only in his fists.” Damien kept looking at her as he finished the purple liquid in a tall glass and stood up. “I was just killing time here with Lenna.” he laughed in his melodious voice and finally looked away from her. He seems concerned at first glance, so he didn't just drag me all the way here on a whim.
“Lynette.” she corrected him, offended. I giggled in surprise. Her brown eyes rolled back to the table top. She probably doesn't have enough courage for further protests.
“It hardly matters.” he shrugged, threw a couple bills on the table and turned to me. “We have work to do.” Damien nodded towards the black door I had just come through. He acts like I'm the one holding him back. Why does this even surprise me? That's how he always is.
I followed him with Cris at my heels around the long, empty bar and out. The narrow street is as empty as the bar, but it's not alarming. At this time, most of the locals are already at home and we will only encounter patrols. Quasnaw is one of the most secure cities and follows strict rules. So strict that not even sand from the desert outside the walls ventures here. At least that's how it's supposed to be, I'll probably find out the truth soon enough.
"Be so kind as to take a little trip across town. I suppose you haven't forgotten the rules." he handed him a folded paper. Orders?
"I repeated them every night before bed. It's one of the few things that kept me sane after you left me there." he yanked the paper from Damien's hand and turned his back on us. He strutted off down the street.
"Do I want to know?" Damien just shook his head. We've been looking for Cristole long enough, he's been looking for him himself. So what is Cristole complaining about? Apparently he was able to get back without our help. "You didn't leave him there, did you?"
"I only did as he asked."
"Damien!" no one would want to stay there. And Damien was looking for him. Damn, I was helping him. He couldn't leave him there.
"What do you think of me? We parted because he wanted it to. If I'd known it meant he'd stay so far behind, I wouldn't have agreed." it sounds better that way. But isn't the first rule of Aet'Reon not to part? "We have to get to the Barrier." he simply added.
"I hope you don't want to go through." I looked at his face. He's smiling as usual, but it's not that silly, playful smile. He is just as concerned as I am. And he has no idea what awaits us there. I was only in Oakfort this morning and now I'm approaching that blue wall. It's all filling up damn fast. And I have no idea how to stop it.
"I don't want to and I hope we don't have to." he said firmly. “But I also don't want to jump to any conclusions until we find out what it's really about.” I nodded. It is better to stay away from drawing our own conclusions. I try not to think about how close the whole world is to slipping into darkness. “I'm really sorry about what happened at the celebrations.” I looked at my uncle in surprise. “To Steeles, I mean.”
"You don't really like him, do you?" I was very amused. It's like swapping things with Jonathan. He disliked Emmett and adored Steven. And Damien has it the other way around just a few decades later. "He's still alive and he still thinks he has a say in my affairs. So it's the same.” I already took a breath to tell him what I found out about the emperor. That's when it dawned on me that Damien mustn't find out I even talked to him.
He noticed but said nothing. “I spoke to Jonathan.” he changed the subject. "I mean, I tried to calm him down. Twice. And it didn't work. Once. I think you blew it a little this time. There are easier ways to kill him."
"If you want to tell me I'm taking unnecessary risks, keep it." I glared angrily at my uncle.
"You're taking unnecessary risks." he confirmed. I have another sermon coming up. He wouldn't miss it. "You should be a lot more careful, you should think about everything that could happen… I can tell you a bunch of other shit he's probably bored you with. And he's right on every single point, but… I think it's something we all needed. Proof that this time is different. And I bet it felt damn good to hurt him."
I looked at him confused. It seems my father is most worried about me because, well, he is my father. But it's actually Damien. He is like a mother hen, with only one little chick to take care of. Because grandpa put him in charge of my protection. “It felt pretty good.” I admitted. Just thinking about what I've done both scares me and gives me the hope I so desperately need. "But it's much better that his plan fell apart. Imagine how furious his sister will be. He wanted Steven's blood, just like he wanted mine."
“But what for? Did he mention it?”
“He must have forgotten, dazzled by all that Light.” I laughed along with him.
"How does Steven manage it all? It's a lot."
"A lot?" now I just giggled. "You know, I told him the whole truth about your sister and the Twins, I had to explain to him the whole Elizabeth thing and what happened when I was born because well… he saw her. And of all the things, it pisses him off the most only that I awakened the Fifth to lead the charge.” I shook my head in disbelief. As if his priorities were completely reversed.
"I think that's the most real part of it all for him. It's the only thing he can get involved in and have some kind of influence on." he clarified. Sounds pretty reasonable considering Damien came up with it.
"Exactly, that's what scares me. If he was smarter, he'd stop complaining I wouldn't let him do anything and at least learn the runes. He can't think he's going to be one of us with a syllabary in his pocket." I grunted, it's really not that hard. If he wants to prove to me he's serious, he should start working on it. Damien laughed softly. "You know what really pisses me off though? How can Jon think going back to her is a good idea? I don't know what he expects to happen, I think he's just incredibly naive."
"You wouldn't just give up on Steven either." his smile was gone in a second. He is absolutely serious. Damien is not against what his younger brother is doing. On the contrary, he approves of it. He lost it, just like my father.
"I thought you'd be against it." I folded my arms in concern. He's supposed to be on my side, for one thing he doesn't like my mother one bit and always has reservations about everything Jon does. That's just the way it is. "Aren't you the least bit scared of her leaving again?"
"Of course I'm scared of it, but Jonathan's a real stickler. There's no point in making excuses for him, but there's still his favourite part, they are married." Damien stopped me in place with his hand. "Our family has a long tradition of fighting hopelessly lost battles, in the name of love. My father was ready to trade everything for the chance to go back to the beginning. Because of her selfishness, Andra stopped guarding the Barrier and herself. Stephan would sacrifice his own life to save his son. I left you just to pretend to be average. And Jonathan… he admired them both, father and Andra, maybe he took something from me and Stephan. Cold blood never suited him, neither did any of us. Not that we had a choice." it reminded me of an old lesson -The Light has to come out of somewhere, which taught me the essential truth. Others see us as the light that guides them on their journey through life, but the truth is that nothing is more important than my family and the people we care about. The others are just unlucky because they don't give us anything at all. "You can be mad at them both, but his opinions as well as his feelings are his alone. Don't try to change them. You owe him at least that much."
"I really wonder what happened between you two. You complain about everything he does, from morning to night. And you still care how he feels? Are you kidding me?"
"Jonathan is an ass. He's been getting on my nerves since the first day he was born. He usually does it on purpose. He really liked it when Andra stood up for him. She looked so important and he was a part of it." Damien laughed at his own memories. "And then he continued to do it even when she wasn't here anymore. Even when father wasn't here. He kept provoking me and Stephan, forcing us to continue this ridiculous spin we call service. He hasn't stopped even now, we all owe Jon for who we are. Most of all you. His stupid family dinners, endless lessons about what we mean to each other, the fact that we are family..." my uncle's eyes have changed, softened, and it seems like he admires his little brother. "So if he's happy now, we'll let him enjoy it. And we'll keep our opinions to ourselves, with any luck forever. Do you understand me?"
"I hate when what you say makes sense. You have too much in common with Stephan." I got into my stride again. I want Jonathan to be happy, but why does it have to be with her. There are plenty of other women in the world who could suit him.
We passed a group of guards. Six soldiers march from the gate towards the city. Quasnaw is an austere town, only people with special permission live in it. No families or children, just soldiers, miners and mages. The buildings are therefore simple blocks carved into the sandstone rock. The streets are straight and the walls are high. Apart from a few shops, bars and a gym, the locals don't need much. They only serve here for a few years anyway.
We stopped at the second gate. "Has anyone passed?" Damien asked one of the two guards. A gold band on his arm indicates he is a commander, but he does not have a full uniform, only the lower part. Which is not only strange and suspicious, but also against the regulations.
"Yes, sir. Miners, party of eight will be back in two hours." he lied with a harsh accent that could definitely be classified as Narral. Damien gave me a look. I nodded slightly in agreement. With a single movement, he drew his sword. I imitated his movement and pressed the long blade to the man's neck.
"Eight is a bit low for a group of miners, don't you think?" Damien stabbed the man between the ribs before he could answer. I did the same thing. The body went limp and slumped to the floor. I jumped before the spray of blood hit me. In limited spaces, it is not only difficult to separate the head from the body, but it also saves clothes.
“They didn't have a uniform.” he said, shrugging his shoulders over the dead body, drawing a rune. A loud alarm rang out, coming from all directions. Cristole will have his hand full to organise it here.
“I noticed, the question is why.” Quasnaw is supposed to be a well-secured city, but it clearly isn't.
It might seem that we have gone in the wrong direction, on the way from the harbour to hot sand and unbearable heat. Unfortunately for us, neither the sand nor the heat is the worst that awaits us. “I don't know, but something very bad is happening here, the whole atmosphere of this place has completely changed.” I know exactly what he means, usually a sense of calm spreads towards us from the Barrier, now it's almost the opposite. We both stopped in the middle of nowhere. Damien looked around and cast a spell over us both. If anyone was watching, we would simply vanish.
"I know…, I think this is just the beginning." I said as he changed our direction. "I saw Oakfort in one of those visions, torn to pieces, razed to the ground. And yet the city stands as if nothing had happened."
"Nothing happened?" he frowned.
"You know what I mean. It's weird." I'm trying to understand it but I can't. I know I saved the city. And I have no idea how I did it. I changed the whole vision and I have no idea how. And it really upsets me, I need to change others and I don't know how. Freaking wonderful.
This time I drew the runes in the air. Not that it matters. We can both get there, but Damien casts spells too slow for my liking. The space in front of us opened up. “After you, my dearest uncle.” I gestured to an open square hole, in the middle of nowhere, and followed him to a place scented with old magic. A tall, bright blue wall stretches out in all directions before us, the muffled sounds of whispering voices calling us. They entice. Trying to trap us, not realising Immortals don't belong in that world and can't stay there. Even so, they give me chills. Their voices sound so cold and hostile, it makes my stomach churn.
Daniel walked out of the bright wall as if it wasn't even there. He adjusted his white suit and headed towards us. "Nice to see you both, though I wish it was under more pleasant circumstances." he began respectfully as always.
"Daniel," Damien nodded in greeting, I just smiled. "don't prolong it, please, what's going on with the Barrier?"
“Follow me, please." he made his way along the Barrier at a slow pace. "Surely you know that the Barrier is absolutely essential to our world as we know it, irreplaceable, and not just because without it your own immortality would function completely differently."
"Spare us the lesson, no one knows this stuff better than we do." I interrupted him. My tension grows exponentially with each step and I don't feel like going through a history lecture. I'm much more interested in the inevitable future. I know Daniel will show us a crack in the giant mass of magic. The first big problem I can't deal with at the moment.
“It was designed to keep in everything ugly that no longer belongs to our new world, but it seems the undead don't belong in the world beyond this wall.”
"What is this tour, where are we going?" Damien urged.
"There's a crack," I answered instead of Daniel. I've had enough of waiting. My uncle added to the step. “And if they don't belong in A Dun'Amanh, that means the wall can't hold them.” I expressed my thoughts. It wasn't until I said it out loud I realised it may be correct. Damn, I know it's right.
Damien stopped in his tracks and turned on his heel to face me. "You mean they can come back like us?"
"Not like you. They can't get through yet, they don't seem to fully realise they don't belong there." Daniel tooke a wide arc around Damien so he wouldn't accidentally touch him. "The problem is when they realise it or somebody tells them." he silently led us along the Barrier for several minutes before stopping again.
A thin crack in the giant wall looks ominous. The area around her is much darker and seems more transparent. It doesn't look menacing or scary. It just doesn't belong there.
Daniel walked through again, leaving me and Damien alone. “This is seriously fucked.” I summed up my thoughts after staring for a while. I can't think of a way to change it. A direct impact of magic could make it all worse, and we are slowly running out of time to strengthen the Barrier. The wall is supposed to take care of itself, each soul brings a little energy that keeps the wall going. And I didn't notice people stopped dying. So there is something else that takes energy for itself.
“This is Stephan’s territory.”
“Let me give you a little demonstration.” Daniel's captivating voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "I can pass at any time, I am a part of this wall as it is a part of me. You, under certain conditions, can go there and back, but he cannot." he gestured to a blurry figure behind the glowing wall. I could have sworn the figure reached out to us and reached about half of the mass. Right at the crack. The colour around it changed, glowing brightly. "I'd say it's only a matter of time, but your impending battle worries me. The more dead pile up on the other side of the wall, the more trouble we could be in."
"If we don't stop them they'll get through Alryne to Athran and if we stop them they'll damage the Barrier. Are those our options?" Damien summarised the new information into a cleverly posed question. A chill ran down my spine. Neither option is pretty. I can't work with either.
"Unless we figure out the formula that keeps them alive by then."
"What about the dead of Oakfort?"
"They're here, but they can't pass on to A Dun'Anealaia. I think the onslaught of those souls damaged the wall today. They all got here at the same moment. They're being held here, like the others, but they're left with their form. It's quite strange." Daniel answered him, too confused for my taste. I bit my lip and shoved my hand into the glowing wall. I closed my eyes tightly. I inhaled slowly before exhaling sharply. The pain in my temples makes me fall to my knees. I've resisted the urge, but it's horribly exhausting. I just need to find out how damaged the thing is.
To put my hand into such a thing is almost indescribable. It's like a feeling, quite pleasant at first, cool and soothing. Calm and unpretentious. Exactly as it should have been, as it always is when I plunge into darkness after losing control of my body. I suppose this is how death should really be. Like this old and well-known feeling that I surrender to after another crazy adventure. Before I inevitably have to go on the next one. Somewhere deeper is a much more urgent feeling that doesn't belong there at all, an excruciating pain. Annoyingly disturbing all the peace around. It presses on my whole body and cannot be stopped. It stings me unpleasantly, attacking me again and again. It's destroying me bit by bit. I have to get that hand out. Before I lose it.
I looked at my hand in confusion. There isn't a single scratch on it. The pain disappeared again, remaining inside that wall. Even though it doesn't belong there. It has nothing to do there.
"Did you figure something out?" Damien asked suspiciously.
"Yes, I have to go to the other side, Daniel?"
“I'd suggest you use the charm to cross over, I'll wait there.” he disappeared again in a blue glow. It's not very reassuring even death itself does not want to take me, rather it asks me to be only a distant observer.
I turned to my uncle. "We're really going to need Stephan. Someone needs to keep an eye on the Barrier and come up with a plan to reverse or slow it down before we stop them."
"Steph prefers to work remotely, I'll take care of it myself. Sit down." it only takes a few minutes to cast the spell, but it still feels like too much time. I need to find out what the pain is and where it comes from. And this seems like a logical step to me. I really need to see it.
Daniel is waiting, just as he promised, this time I don't have to wander this world alone looking for the right place. I hugged him to welcome him. I always do and he always lets me. He must miss contact with others. He usually just watches everyone and tries not to kill them. Not that he had no choice.
I looked around, the place had changed again. Despite the fact it is supposed to remain the same for all eternity. It looks bleak and empty now. There are no trees, paths or houses that people bring here with them. Which is strange because we are surrounded by the souls of the dead. Only they are not the ordinary ones, but the ones with absent expressions. Someone had drained their lives, their memories, and everything they were, leaving only an empty box stuck here.
"Where's Lukas? Are you still using him?" I asked calmly, I want to see if there is a way I could help my friend.
“I'm not using him, he wants to continue his service.”
My friend stepped out from the shadows of one of the dark buildings, his gaze still half absent, but I could almost swear he smiled at me. Can he fight the spell and is slowly coming back to himself or am I just making it up because I want to believe it? It would be the only good thing that happened today. I can't help it, I have to hug him. His arms don't hang loosely at his sides like last time, but he's caught me. My heart jumped with joy. I took a step back and held out my hand in front of me. A small sphere immediately began to form in it.
"Hold it!" Daniel stopped me with his own hand, his touch electrifying but not unpleasantly so. "Please no. I know what you want to try. Lukas has become my friend."
“He was my friend too.” I shook Daniel's hand off. “He doesn't deserve this.”
"None of them deserve it, but he's helping me, he knows his way around here, and he chose it himself." he tries his captivating voice on me again. I can't be influenced that easily. "I didn't make the decision for him and neither should you."
"Lukas?" I'm not sure if he can decide anything in this state.
“I want to… stay.” he replied quietly. But why? Why would he want this? His place is somewhere else entirely. I can't go against his wishes, but I can't leave him like this. He deserves peace of mind.
“You can't stay like this…” my voice broke as the shadow of my dead friend smiled at me. "you shouldn’t."
"It doesn't hurt like that…" he said calmly. It doesn't hurt…? He said that last time. What exactly shouldn't hurt? Does he mean the feeling I encountered in the blue wall?
"What doesn't hurt?" I'm not sure how to phrase my question correctly. I looked around worriedly, are all the people around in pain? In a place where pain is simply not supposed to go. Did they manage to change the essence of A Dun'Amanh? I closed my eyes to focus. If there's so much pain here, it won't be hard to find.
Just think of that blue tree, with leaves as blue as his eyes. With exactly the same shade, only a few tones darker than the sky. I gasped, guilt mixed with a wave of pain got to me. The kind that can put anyone down because it comes from within.
“Being here… doesn't hurt anymore. Lukas answered quietly as I opened my eyes again. All those people around are suffering from that terrible feeling. That's why the place has changed so much. The pain they brought here continues to spread.
"This is not possible, it shouldn't be." I can’t believe it. It's just not supposed to be this way.
Daniel brought another shadow of a dead. She looks like a pleasant woman, curls of red hair falling over her shoulders, billowing in the non-existent breeze around her. I gently took her hand. She is uncomfortably cold. Colder than mine. "As long as the last ray of hope shines on your path, you are not alone." I whispered. A dazzling light touched the woman. For a moment, her face came alive with a wide smile, in the echo of a happy memory, lost forever. While she was smiling, the horrible feeling of pain hit me again, even worse than before. Multiplied by her pain. And the worst part is I can't get rid of it now. It is everywhere and nowhere, I can feel it and yet I cannot identify where it comes from. I only realise it takes all my strength.
With the dying light in my palm, the woman's smile disappeared. She stares at me again with the absent look as I head for the ground.
A new feeling gripped me, a terrible feeling of disappointment and loss, shaking my whole world. A Dun'Amanh is a sacred place that serves all souls without distinction. A place none of us could protect from the cruelty of the world. I clenched my fists tightly. I'm sick of myself. Of my whole family. We brag about power we don't even have. We pretend we have a firm grip on the world, which spins without us. And this is proof of our failure.
"What does it mean?" Daniel asked in confusion, extending a friendly hand to me, ready to help my convulsed bent body up to my feet. Like me, I was expecting a different result.
“It means,” anger brought me back to my feet. I don't need his help. I need a new plan damn quick. "I was wrong, it's not the spell that transforms them. The spell is still on, it's actively affecting this whole place. We need to end it. Quickly if possible." I took one last look at Lukas and turned to Daniel. None of this bothered my old friend one bit. Does he even understand it?
"And the Barrier?" he continued with cautious questions.
"I don't know, even if we could stop them at Alryne and end it, I don't know how quickly the tear would heal itself. And if we fail, we can only guess what will happen to our world." I added dejectedly. I realised the painful fact that everything we had been working for could end very soon. Losses on both sides will be heavy. I know it is so, but I have no idea if the currently weakened Barrier can withstand such an onslaught. We could start a whole new war. And the soldiers of such a war are already waiting here. "They changed A Dun'Amanh…" I whispered, releasing my clenched fists. If I could cry here, tears would already be streaming down my cheeks. For all the pain I feel… the worst part is that there is nothing I can do to stop it. Not right now.
Daniel closed his eyes, almost as if he was listening to something. The unnaturally dark eyes turned to me after a while. Breaking the tense silence. I know this look very well. Something happened. Someone I know has died. Another disaster that will try to bring me to my knees again. "Who?" I asked scared.
“You should go back.” I grabbed his shoulder and stopped him before he could disappear. He can't tell me the name, if he warned me of every death no one would die, but he won't get away with this. Not this time, I've had a horrible day and I'm not going to make it into a horrible night. "I can not."
"You have to, Daniel!" I crushed his shoulder, but he didn't even move. He must feel the pain. "New rules, remember…" instead of answering, he nodded his head to Lukas. The Guard?
"Nerkam..." was the last thing I heard before I returned to my body. I want to get out of the darkness as soon as possible. I fight with it. I don't want to be in those cold arms. Not this time. Daniel gives me the chance to save someone, I know he does. But I have to hurry, I don't have time to lie on the ground in Damien's arms. I have to wake up immediately. Push through the pain and open my eyes.
What is the patrol schedule for the day? Ethan brought it to me yesterday because he was making some changes to it, but why. What kind? I can not remember. Ethan definitely stayed in Alryne with the other two. But which ones? With Yess? Adrian has his own task and so does Thomas. So who's left? Cay? Aaron? Michael?
I took a painful breath, I opened my eyes sharply. I'm lying in Damien's lap, he's looking at me carefully with his brown eyes. I don't have time to check it and explain it at length. "Nerkam..." I coughed out of myself. My head is spinning terribly. My lungs did not want to absorb oxygen. My heart moves lazily. All I can think about is that I have to make it.
"You're bleeding." Damien announced, his gaze falling to my hand.
“Please…Jim.” I coughed out the words along with something red. Great.
"Alright."
Dark floor, light walls, huge balcony doors and comfortable sofas - living room. My living room. Someone was here, some things are out of place, but it's not a mess. Not bigger than usual.
Damien ran for the door almost immediately. I followed him a little slower. Getting back on my feet is suddenly so hard. I am haunted by this terrible feeling of failure, compounded by pain, anxiety and fear. I wiped the blood on my thigh. I gritted my teeth and stood up against everything. I forced my legs to cooperate. One by one. I won't let my body stop me. I started running.
Several motionless bodies lie by the door and further down the hall. Some have familiar uniforms, others just dark rags. Damien bent over a man in a guards uniform, I can't see his face, but the red cloak combined with the dark fabric is unmistakable.
I bent down to the other body in the same uniform. A pool of dark blood spills across the floor, glistening ominously on the dark wood, until it is intersected by an almost equally dark carpet. The man in front of me gasped shallowly. He is not wearing his cloak, but it's folded under his head. Why would the attacker give it there? The grey-green eyes are closed. With a bloodied hand, he is holding the wound on his stomach covered with a pressed bandage. What kind of first aid is this?
"Cay? Can you hear me?" I moved his hands away and pressed mine to the wound. Trying to hold everything together, I can feel the hot blood between my fingers, leaving his body. Cayden cried out in pain. I'm trying to see if he has any other injuries, but I can't see anything other than a swollen lip.
"Is it bad?" he whispered. I'm relieved he’s conscious and able to speak. It's a pretty poor consolation, but as long as he lives… Damien rose from the body of the other guardsman, caught my gaze and shook his head sadly. I bit my lip hard. I have to focus on helping Cayden. The rest can wait. Must.
“It's just a little hole, Cay.” I try to hold back the tears. Damien ran, sword in hand. "You'll be fine. I promise." with the last of my strength I took him to the infirmary. I couldn't bring myself to heal him. I can't do anything for him. Famous Heiress is completely useless. And not for the first time today.
Katherine shoved me out of the way right after I showed up with him. I tried to calm down and focus on her voice. My thoughts can't get past the feeling of A Dun'Amanh. It haunts me and won't let me go. And the fear for my friend's life helps it.
She bombarded me with an avalanche of questions, what happened, when… but how should I know? I answered only a few words, a small part of it all. I have no answers to give her. I don't know anything at all. And when it dawned on her, she disappeared somewhere. Only before that she managed to explain to me that my nose is also bleeding and I should stay here.
She left me alone, in the middle of a large, white room, where I tried to process at least a small part of what had happened. I don't fit in there at all, my clothes as well as my hands are covered in blood. I don't fit with the white floor and walls. Just like I don't fit in A Dun'Amanh. I don't fit in at all and I can't do anything at all.
I'm supposed to win, get the right result under all circumstances, but maybe he got it wrong. Maybe I'm just not the Successor. Maybe none of this is for me. Maybe my rage won at Oakfort. I can kill and I can destroy. I wanted to hurt Julien, not save the whole city. I wanted to erase him from the surface, not all the others. Maybe I just can't fix anything.
With horror I came to the conclusion that I was not ready for any of this and the only thing I could do was go back. I need to find out who Cayden was on duty with. That's a thought I can't shake. It's a thought that leads directly to me losing another Guardsman. And I have no idea which one it was.
I returned back to the corridor, in front of my apartment. There’s so much noise, Damien has disappeared, the palace guards rush to the place as well as the Guard. I walked past Dex, he said something to me, but I didn't listen. Yess reached out to stop me. Dex must have wanted that too, I realised. He wanted to stop me. I dodged him. Only a few steps remain. The dead one on the ground has dark hair, it's not Jonah or Miles.
Michael blocked my way, he caught me much faster, unlike the others he didn't give me a chance to sidestep. “It's Junior.” he announced, squeezing me tightly in his embrace.
Junior? That's the name Michael gave me - Junior. Junior? I have to repeat the name over and over, it still doesn't sound right. Junior, despite his name, has been with the Guard for years. So it doesn't make sense, he can't just disappear from our lives. He can't be gone. That's just not possible. Because he belongs to us.
“It can't be Junior…” Michael didn't say anything, he just held me, because honestly I would probably fall apart if he didn't. The feeling of terrible pain continued through my body, and the guilt returned.
I should have been here to stop it. But I wasn't. I let it happen.
What the fuck happened here?
I was only out of Nerkam for a week, did anyone take advantage of my absence? My apartment is full of valuable artefacts if one knows how to use them, but why would anyone need any of them right now? Nothing can be done about the impending battle. It cannot be prevented. Everything will be decided there. Perhaps now is the time for desperate measures. And who knew such artefacts were here?
Does that mean something is missing here? There must be something missing. The question is what. Another disaster? I let go of Michael, I can't accept the idea that Junior is just gone, that I was too late, that Damien couldn't do anything. I just have to take it as the realisation will catch up with me sooner or later. And then I'll have to get back to it. Now here's the burning question. How did this happen? “Cayden is in the infirmary.” I finally announced. I know everyone wanted to ask. One of them swore loudly, but I couldn't tell which one. I want to tell them he’s going to be okay, but I’m not sure. How could I be? His blood is everywhere, soaked into my shirt, spilled on my hands as well as the floor, soaked up in the carpet. It's too much blood. It is everywhere. I watch the blood drying on my hands, unable to think of a spell to get rid of it. Is it some kind of rune, but which one? What runes do I actually know?
"Someone was looking for something here." another voice said. I can't put a face on it. I need to remember the symbol. I have to concentrate.
“You have to see what's missing.” continued another. What is missing? I lowered my hands to my body. Artefact, that's what I need. Not the rune. I can clean my hands in other ways.
I nodded for them to follow me back to the apartment. "I have to tell Ethan." I pulled out a bottle of vodka from the table by the door, which I keep there probably for similar cases. Alcohol is everywhere. I have no idea why. I guess I choose the wrong friends or the right ones. According to the situation. I unscrewed the cap and threw it on the ground. I poured some alcohol on my hands. It didn't wash off all the blood, I wiped the rest on my pants. I drank and handed the bottle to Yess, who was standing right next to me. I think it's Yess. Does it matter?
No. I have to pay attention to what's going on around me. Focus. Yess took a drink and passed the bottle on, Dex refused the bottle, just shifted nervously. "I'll go get the commander." the muscles on the huge body tensed.
"Dex, wait." I want to break the bad news to Ethan myself. It should be me, but I don't feel like looking for him in a crowded camp. I hesitantly opened the portal. "Find the others and come back here, all of you." he nodded and disappeared into the portal, Yess followed.
"Do you have a new perfume?" I can't mistake Kaleb's voice for anything, even after all the years in Nerkam he can't mask the traces of his origins. People in the west just speak differently. More annoying… because of Tre'Asco.
“Still the same, the lotus one.” I turned to him. What is this stupid question? He wants to talk about perfume now?
"So why do I smell roses, I thought you didn't like flowers." he's just a few steps away from me. He looks around the shelves with books in confusion. Roses? I absolutely hate those flowers, but I know someone who wears such perfume...
I raised my hand and sent a pulse of magic in all directions. "I hate roses." I mumbled to myself. The remnants of foreign magic lit up in the air. Like crumbs that lead to the crime scene. I went to the shelf, and one book was missing. That stupid diary, it already cost me two men. "Fuck!" I hit the shelf with my fist. Why is everyone so interested in the diary of a complete madman? Did we not explain enough how crazy he was?
I finally have a good reason to get rid of her for good. I gripped the hilt of the sword tightly and closed my eyes. I don't care what Emmett says about it or if I break some promise I once made to him. I need to find her and end it. Someone has to finally fix this mess.
I sent another pulse, Catarina can't move between places by herself, she has a similar talisman as the guards have their coin. So where did it take her? She had only used it a little while ago, the portal had already closed, but something of it is still left. I drew a rune and went around it to draw another.
The portal has opened again, I should wait for it to stabilise, but I don't want to. I don't want to wait for anything anymore. The worst thing that can happen is I end up in limbo sooner than I plan to. And that wouldn't even surprise me after everything that's happened today. After Damien makes this day a holiday, I will definitely not celebrate it.
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