I slowly closed the door behind me. I walked over to the long table, put down the folder with a wolf's head on top, that Basil just gave me, and only then looked at her. She sprawles in my chair as if it belongs to her. Terrible woman. "What do you want?"
"And here I thought you were the one with good manners."
"I'd almost forgot," I reached for two tall cylinders full of liquid with zero-alcohol and handed her one. "So, what do you want here? Tired of pretending you can't get anywhere on your own?"
"Maybe you should lock your office..." she suggested as she looked at the contract I had brought. If she wants to check it for me, maybe I shouldn't fight back. It's a lot of work anyway. She looked at me with a contemptuous smile. "so many important documents... You don't want anything to happen to them."
It's a nice idea that I would just leave all the documents here. All the papers would just lie on my desk waiting for someone like her. A hired nick who will do what anyone tells her to. Sure... "I could also leave the crown here and wait for the instructions of the new ruler." I would then be the first ruler in history who did not last even a single year. "How does it go outside the civilized world?"
"How does it look since I'm here," she removed her legs from the armrest and sat down like a normal person. "one of your dear friends has come back here. Ang Sylvania." blue eyes wait tensely for my reaction.
And so do I.
How do I react to the fact that the boy I grew up next to has returned. With whom I spent the whole days in the North. We assured each other that none of this would change even if we grew up and I was a king. He would led my army to victory for the wolves. Battle after battle. And then we grew up and it all changed. I moved permanently here, to my office with a pile of books and documents awaiting my signature, and he left so he could find people with the same dislike of my government. So it was probably only a matter of time before he came back. The question is why.
"Came back like what?" I opened the bottle and took a sip. I completely missed when they started to add flavor to this water. I'm so lucky that I like strawberries.
"Some merchant with rare ingredients. He has all the permits in order, he just lacks documents with his name on it," she pulled out crumpled messages marked with a small one under my emblem. So under the administration of Taluire, great. I can't even quietly resolve it. It has to be the one under my brother's supervision. "You can have him detained just for that."
"I'd be more interested in what he wants here and who he meets." I wouldn't bet on it too much, but maybe he's really just here for business. And in that case, I don't want to bother with him. "Does my father know about it?"
"If I could get to Edgar, I wouldn't be here," she lowered her gaze to the tabletop. She was silent for a moment before deciding that it would be best to play with my pencils. She lined them up, arranged them carefully, and finally folded her hands over her chest. "He's changed a lot. Telling him that you might be in danger is even more dangerous. And if you don't want him to kill the guy, I wouldn't tell him."
"Because that's always worked so well," but she's right that he's acting weird to say the least. And I don't want him to kill Ang immediately. I have to find out why he's here first. "But you're right, he probably doesn't need to know at the moment. Don't tell him yet, and when he asks what you're doing and where you are, tell him the truth. I'll explain it to him then." she doesn't look very pleased. "Just find out why Ang is here. And who he met."
"And if it turns out he's here for you and your pretty crown?"
"Then I still prefer the pretty thing on my head."
"Of course," she stood up, carefully straightening her long sleeves. Perhaps so that others could not see the tattoos that she hides under the fabric. She would have far fewer problems if she had them removed or disappeared from everyone else's sight. "You can't give up that wolf either."
"It's a nice symbol."
"Which you have on absolutely everything," her words are hard to refute from my office. Of all the places. There are more blue flags only in the throne room.
"There will be significantly fewer of them at this year's celebrations. You should stop by and have a look. You don't believe what I tell you anyway," I strayed my eyes to her cleavage, not because of how deep it was, but because of the ring. Always on her necklace, like a little pendant. "The whole family will be there."
"You're counting on it a lot."
I could order her to go, but that won't probably work. "Have you spoken to him since Aré?"
"To tell him what? He still believes I had something to do with the Heiress's disappearance." yes, I'd almost forget about it. Not that Andrea had disappeared, but that Cat was here at the time, and the two geniuses had thrown it at her. Which I can't refute without telling them everything else. "They're still closer to each other... it's a terrible feeling, isn't it?"
"Not really."
"Hmm... either you're lying to yourself," she said to me. I don't know if I want her advice for life. "or you haven't figured it out yet."
"I understand all of it very well. If he hadn't wanted to leave so much, and she hadn't insisted on staying, nothing would have separated them." why is everyone underestimating me so much? It must have something to do with my age. "And while he left, I stayed."
"Keep telling yourself that," she bowed with an amused laugh. "Your Majesty."
"Sis."
A quick knock on the door interrupted my work. I checked my watch, I'm already about ten minutes late, and I still have to sort out that stupid contract on the table and run across the long corridor to meet the Council. To another meeting, which for some reason its members have forced. Again. What a great program for the day. I'm slowly saying goodbye to the idea of finishing the papers now, so I closed the folder and took it with me. Whatever happens will give me a great excuse for why I'm late.
I opened the heavy door of my own office, behind which my father is waiting. Whoever thought that a reinforced door is still needed in a fortress carved into the rock, guarded day and night by a few hundred soldiers, was paranoid to say the least, just like him. With an amused smile, he leans against the doorframe, as if all this were one big fun. Although I guess it is for him. He has a break of mind from everything now. "I need to talk to you."
"Of course, you wouldn't even be here. Can't you," I haven't even finished the question yet, and he's already inside. In my office. I deliberately chose a place on the other side of the castle, far from his old office. So that it is only mine. And he doesn't care in the slightest. Of course, it won't wait. He can't wait like the others. The man is making my blood boil. No matter the cold outside.
"I was looking at your plans for Tayonne." my plans? How are they my plans? What kind of crap is this again? Does he mean the repair plans? I have to fix the city somehow, that doesn't mean it's my plans. They're just plans that the lovely Baroness presented to me and I just signed it. First time in who knows how long will the city look a bit modern and fun. "Are you sure you want it that way?"
"Sure? What am I supposed to be sure of?" I try not to sound angry, but I'm angry. If he doesn't like the plans, he's out of luck. He should've said something about it while there was time. I don't have time for this. The watch already shows twelve minutes late and 'my' plans are already on the way to be settled. In fact, as far as I can remember, I have already signed the release of funds and construction will start soon.
"You want to rebuild the whole Academy, demolish the rest of the building, which is intact."
"Stability is impaired,"
"It's a historic building. An important monument and is an irreplaceable landmark for the whole city."
"Dad,"
"The entire front is a work of art,"
"Dad,"
"Rebuilding will ruin the whole thing. Nothing significant will remain."
"Dad, stop!" so he made me raise my voice after all. Why does he never let me finish something? First he wants me to do his job, and now he doesn't like it. I have to listen to him and still have my own opinions. Make the right decisions, but in a way that he likes.
"I meant to say, it won't be the same without the building," he continued. "you will change the façade of the whole city."
"That's the point," I said.
"What's the point?" he repeated angrily.
"Dad, I don't have time for this right now. If you don't like the plans, you can complain, of course, but that's about it. You knew the plans would be approved, and you didn't say anything about it. For some reason unknown to me, you are more interested in what is happening in Narral and what happened there years ago. But I know for sure that you shouldn't interfere. It's not your business." another knock on the door. This sounds even more urgent. Today is next in line of perfect days. How the fuck am I supposed to do anything here? I opened the door, this time Emmett's waiting. "If I get your proposal, I'll look into it."
"That's it? I can complain?"
"The Council is waiting for you, and apparently so is for me. Any idea why?"
"I know they're waiting." I stepped back to show him father behind me. He nodded in greeting as I turned back to him. "What do you expect me to do? You can complain and I don't have to do anything about it. It's just your opinion. I'm sorry you don't like the design, but the building is just old and beyond saving. The redevelopment will begin with the Academy and continue throughout the city so that the new Academy fits into the façade of the whole city." father continues to look at me with a smile, what in the name of Light amused him so much? He annoys me more and more with this. This unnecessary interference of his will delay me for at least an hour every week. "It's my job now, not yours. And if you don't want it back, stop interfering."
"I'm just suggesting,"
"No, you're not suggesting. You never suggest anything," I interrupted. The watch has crossed three, I hate when I'm late. "you expect me to submit to you because you don't like it of all people. The plans are ready, I've already signed them and that's the end of it for me. You should have been here when it was being dealt with. But if it pleases you, that weird wolf statue will come back." father started laughing, and Emmett looked at me in horror. Great. "What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing at all," he looked at me and shook his head in amusement. "I'm glad the statue will come back. It's not weird. See you later?" he nodded to Emmett and disappeared.
"You're provoking him for no reason." Emmett held the door open for me.
"I'm just telling him how it is," I walked past him, reopening the folder I'd closed earlier because of my father. I've flipped through the pages, there's only one crappy page left for which I want to write notes. That's like a bad joke. I looked at Emmett, quite surprised that he was wearing a uniform. I'm not sending it anywhere, am I? "You should tell him he's wrong sometime," I suggested. "If it's just me, it doesn't have the right effect."
"I'm done fighting him. It never ends well," he laughed beside me. Why is he so afraid of him? Father is always complaining about something, he gets angry and calms down the next minute. And Emmett treats him with excessive respect, everything father says isn't always a win. And if he's wrong, someone should tell him. Then why does he? Why is it always me? Before I could ask him any of this, we were standing at the door we were heading towards. I thought the corridor was longer. "Ans has already returned."
"I know, a few hours ago," she returned from her crazy expedition to the border. Why am I not the least bit surprised that she got to the first major battle? "she can't help and has to be there for everything."
"I think she was trying to help Remis, he got into a bad position or something," he explained. Of course, he is on her side. If she'd managed to get herself killed there, he would have congratulated her. "Jim's handwriting is almost illegible, did you notice?"
"No, I didn't notice," I don't correspond with Damien. I usually try to avoid it.
Angrily, I grabbed the handle and joined the Council, in their Chamber, which, apart from the differently arranged furniture, is no different from the other rooms on this floor. They have their own villa down in town, with all their minions and sycophants, but I refuse to go there. They are supposed to work for me. And here are the same gray walls hidden behind banners and paintings, the same blue carpet and the same sharp light. And of course, everyone here is already waiting, and they don't look nearly as angry as I am. Which's really bad for them. At the same time they rose from their long table. Jaubert folds his arms, Cormier and the priestess wait to see what will happen, DuChamp watches something outside the window, and Jossellin is already heading towards me.
"You're late," she announced, as if I didn't know, by a full twenty-three minutes. These remarks of hers always annoy me. I don't need to repeat something I already know. But she's not the only one doing it, all the members of the Council revel in it. They have the feeling for some incomprehensible reason that I am interested in their opinions in this regard and their comments will change anything.
Like when I was similarly pointed out to a small, insignificant detail that during all the handover of the crown and the confusion associated with it, no one signed the export rights for our timber merchants. It would have been useful if they hadn't come up with it a week after - the traders mentioned - pointed it out to me. And even they were much more polite and pleasant about it.
"You can start any time you're ready," I send the unfinished contract on the table. "you wanted a meeting completely out of schedule."
All five exchanged nervous glances. I suppose it's something about the war, because they don't think it can wait, and there's Emmett. Riley sent a report of the battle from the Seven right after it came to them. And they're also strangely silent. So what else?
"It is this year's celebration of independent Athran."
"What's with the celebrations?" I asked, genuinely surprised. What this year's celebrations have to do with anything. Everything is already planned. As well as the rebuilding of Tayonne. I'm not going to change anything. And in this case, there is no time to change anything. For me, it will start tomorrow.
Jaubert straightened up and took a breath. "The thing is, this year's celebrations are perhaps the biggest, in all the time that the independent Athran has existed, and with the war approaching, maybe it's not the best idea. In fact, it could be quite dangerous." the confident tone he immediately put on me put me in an even worse mood. "We could shrink them a little bit, of course we wouldn't abolish them entirely."
"Of course," I gritted my teeth. "And how would you imagine it? Are we going to call off half the celebrations in case something might happen? And we leave the other one, because nothing will happen there? Is this supposed to be a joke?"
"It's all about your safety," the priestess interjected. "and the safety of our guests." I'm still not sure if she's just testing me or if she's serious. These are the only celebrations that even the end of the world would not stop. The sky could be torn, the Barrier could collapse and the world could plunge into eternal darkness, and those celebrations would take place anyway. Even if my people were to hold candles and repeat prayers. Because they are simply so important, because they are the only ones to show the rest of the world that the Heirs do not have all the power and someone can always turn against them and survive.
I looked at Emmett, he seemed as surprised and confused by their proposal as I am. "My safety is not a matter of this Council, as you often make clear when you argue with me. In your words, to defend the interests of the common people," I began, rather calmly. "This year's celebrations will take place exactly as planned. If you're worried about my safety or anyone else's, involve more guards. Feel free to call in the army if it helps you in any way." Emmett took a breath behind me, and I didn't let him speak. "I don't need to remind any of you how important these celebrations are. Crucial for Athran. And it is right now, at the brink of a war, that we need to remind people of what they are fighting for. It's not just about independence, it's about celebrating the country that is their home, that they grew up in, and that is here for them, no matter how tough the winter is, whether Narral or the Heirs themselves stand in our way. Athran will always be there for it's people and will remind everyone else who we are. And that's exactly what everyone needs to be reminded of, right now." I found the priestess's gaze. "Especially our guests."
And rhere is silence again. They didn't have to disturb me because of this. I could have finished the contract and one of them could have stopped by in my office with this. "According to the report from the Seven, the enemy army has already formed, and if,"
"If they need our help, I'll send our troops in," Emmett interrupted Cormier firmly. "If the lions want to fight with their neighbours, we'll let them. That has nothing to do with the celebrations at all. Do you know how far Dithune is from the border?"
"I think it does," Cormier continued. Of all the Council members, he is definitely the most annoying one. I think he always was, but when my father argued with him, it didn't bother me so much. "a large part of our guests are not from Athran."
"And you're trying to imply what?" asked Emmett mockingly. "That each of our guests will try to turn the war in their favour. Will they come here just to get information? That's what they always do, war or not."
Cormier looked at him angrily with his small eyes in the middle of his thick face. "I just think it's an unnecessary risk."
"That's your opinion, of course."
"Actually, that's the opinion of the Athran Council," Cormier corrected Emmett quickly. "And its members."
"I don't need to be in the Athran Council, I know very well what is safest for my little brother."
"Your concern moves me," I interjected, before they could proceed with the tough talk. It's another useless waste of time, and here they always wonder why I don't go to their meetings. "This year's celebrations will take place unchanged. Emmett will make sure that the city is more secure. The Council will hand over the guest lists to the intelligence service, and they can make changes. I would exclude people who object to magic, openly support Narral and their efforts, and radicals but that's all. The rest remains. We will be celebrating all week and you will all participate in every single part of the celebration. From the opening, through the services, to the final celebration," I picked up the contract from the table. "If that's all. I'd like to get back to something useful," I turned to leave. No one tried to stop me.
Emmett grinned stupidly as I walked past him. All I have left is the contract and I'm done for today. Then I can get out of here. Just one last page.
"Steve, wait," and here's another hitch. I'm just not going to finish that stupid contract today. Maybe ever.
"I need to finish one contract, so come with me, please." whatever she wants, it'll only takes a moment and we can do it in the office. Not that I wanted to be alone with her. Strange how quickly some things change. There were times when I would have wanted to be alone with her, ideally body to body. Especially when she was silent and naked.
"I don't want to detain you for long."
"Then don't delay and start already," I closed the door behind us and put the contract down again. I'm starting to lean towards simply signing it, throwing the edit notes in the trash, and forgetting about it. It's just an export contract for part of the supply of blue steel - I can't imagine anything more important - so why am I bothering with it? Everyone else seems to think it's not important. "what seems to be the problem?"
"Hallies' Heiress," she began hesitantly. I prodded her with my hand. It's not a very specific concern. Unless she means that she's just terrified by the thought of her Immortality and other similarly crazy things like me. For example, her notorious cruelty, which I have not yet witnessed. I mean, from what I remember. And everyone keeps telling me that I don't want to see it, but I'm curious. "Will she stay at Athran for the whole time of the celebrations?"
"You know she will."
"And she'll be here like what?" she asked quickly.
"As my guest."
"Officially?"
I frowned. Where are these questions going? Of course, officially, everyone knows this for a long time. Well, minus the small difference that she will be here as my fiancée. I shouldn't forget about that. "Are your questions leading somewhere?"
"Of course, the Council wants to know what to prepare for. Se'll be showing up by your side, all week."
"Does the Council or you want to know? Because I just saw all five members and not a single one of them mentioned."
"By wanting her to be part of the celebrations, it unconditionally applies to the Council. You're not just a prince anymore, you're a king now. If you missed it. If she officially accompanies you, we have to sort out all the details. For example, how they will present you. What are her motives and what are yours?" she folded her arms. I'm not sure that the Council or Jossellin has anything to do with what my motives are. Anyone can stand by my side and still have nothing to do with it. Most of all when it comes to the Heiress. The general view of the matter is that she decides where she will be and with whom. Not me or any other king.
"What do you mean—if? It's official. And they will present us with our titles, of course. First her, then me. Andrea will be here as a representative of her country and above all as the Heiress, it's as simple as that. I don't know what you don't understand about it."
"If she's here as a representative of her country, then she's not your entourage."
"Do you really want to play with words?"
"It's an important difference, whether you like it or not. Your people will be interested in why she accompanies you. And what about after the celebrations, what are your plans?"
"I don't think it's your business," I folded my arms too. "yours or the Councils."
"You're officially inviting her here, so it's no longer just your private affair. Whatever you do behind closed doors is your business. Whatever happens in public is a matter pf the Council. Like your political agreements, relationships, ties," she began to count on her fingers. "Athran will need other heirs. You should be the first to secure a stable government and stop pretending that you understand everything better than we do. Have you even thought about what you're doing?"
"Why does everyone feel the need to question my decisions?"
"Maybe it's because your decisions affect all of us. They affect how people see you. How others see all of Athran."
"And how does my relationship with An affect you all? Not a single treaty has changed because of it, not in a bad way. And just being with the Heiress strengthens my rule. If anything, people are excited because their beloved Heiress spends a lot more time here!" the Council takes care of all the useless shit, and Jossellin complicates it and for what? Because of her jealousy? I mean I get she doesn't like it, but she doesn't have to a bitch about it.
"She doesn't seem like a woman that would stand your side. Do you even know how many enemies she has? You neglect your duties here and for what? Because of her! How old is she? You know how many men have been with her before you and none of them have stayed. So where do you get the certainty that it's different with you? " does she really want to know where I get that certainty? Does she really want to hear that Andrea is better in every way? Better than Jossellin? "You're just a king, Steven. She's Hallies' Heiress, she carries his Light, how do you expect that to work?"
"Just a king?" I laughed incredulously. Jossellin has known me for years, and the last thing I would expect from her is to label me like that. I have no other qualities? "It's really none of the Council's business. You can tell me what contracts I sign and under what conditions, you can tell me how the public sees my decisions, but you just can't tell me who I spend my time with. Neither you nor others. You do not have the authority to do so. And honestly, I don't care one bit about your opinion." I took the damn folder off the table, I've had enough here. "As for An, you have no idea what she's really like or what's between me and her. I would advise you and others to behave damn well when we're both here. Because if you don't, we're going to have a serious problem, Jossy."
Now I've just had enough. I don't have peace of mind in Athran. Everyone just annoys me with their stupid questions and wants me to solve things that have nothing to do with anything. My father changes his lovers so often that no one really cares who he shows up with in public. That is, unless my mother happens to show up. And that reassures me that as long as my wife isn't by my side, no one will give a shit. And if I still choose a lover, they'll say I'm just like him. Moreover, the common people, as the Council refers to all other people outside of them and their minions, will be thrilled that the Heiress will not only show up, but stay throughout the festivities. So what's the fucking problem?
Andrea lies on the bed, wrapped in a thin blanket, and for once sleeps deeply and peacefully. She looks completely defenseless and adorable. I quietly closed the door behind me and let her rest. This has given me exactly the time I need to finish reading the contract, finish the notes, and still have some time to rest. This is an absolutely ingenious solution to my little problem. Moving to the South has undeniable advantages for me, people from the North avoid this place. They can't disturb me so much here. And people from the South wouldn't even dare to piss off the Heiress, so they don't bother me with anything either. It's just brilliant.
She came out of the bedroom wearing only a loose shirt. Judging by how dark it is, I would guess mine. "Good morning," she mumbled sleepily as she walked past me to the table. Suddenly she stopped, turned in surprise, and watched my amused face. I don't want to laugh at her, but she looks incredibly innocent. I don't even know when was the last time I found her this beautiful. Probably every time I see her. She just has that effect on me, and I bet she does on others too, but I try not to pay too much attention to that. This time, however, her beauty is illustrated by a confused expression and loose long hair, tangled in all the directions.
How can she look so good after just a few hours of sleep?
I'll never understand.
"Did you sleep well?" I asked on the way to her. She must still be terribly tired from her trip. Why she thought of joining the first fight remains a mystery to me, even if Remis was there, she might have her own people for it. And why she was gone the next day, I don't really understand either. All I know is that she often disappears like this, and I wish I knew where she is. It'd be a lot less stressful for me then.
"Not particularly, your shirt is wrinkled..." she muttered, turning away from me and reaching across the table top for her blue pills. With how often she complains about them, I would expect her to stop taking them a long time ago.
"What does my shirt have to do with it?" she exceeded the recommended dosage again and washed down the pills with alcohol. And here I am the one who should be careful and needs supervision.
"You'd have your shirt ironed in the morning, I got back around two in the afternoon, it's still light outside and your shirt is crumpled, so you haven't changed yet, which means I've only slept for a few hours, I'm guessing three. That's why the answer to your question is not particularly well." she yawned and jumped up on the tabletop. Her derivation of time without a watch is starting to amuse me. Maybe I deliberately won't tell her how much time it is and wait for her estimate. "Besides, I think I'd sleep better if I wasn't alone."
I laughed at my deep laugh, which she likes so much. Her eyes always light up. It seems quite ordinary to me, but that's not the point here. "Maybe," I admitted, placing my hands on her. "but I was busy with my own work, I had just arrived."
"Well, we can go back to bed," she smiled sweetly. She bit her lip and frowned. "Right after breakfast."
"You mean after dinner?" I asked with a smile, rolling up my sleeve and showing her my watch. It's almost six, so she wasn't very far away with her estimate.
"It doesn't matter, dinner, breakfast, it's all the same. Besides, I can't remember the last time I ate, it must have been before I spoke to Remis for the first time..."
"First time? More than two days ago?"
"Yeah, I guess," she raised her left eyebrow, still frowning. "I know what you're thinking, and before you ask, I'm not really hungry, and the answer is because I'm Immortal," she waved her hand and looked at the table. "Is there any disaster waiting for me in the letters?" as if I had the answer. Anything can be waiting for her there. I never know what's going on first. I'm more at the end of a long list. At the very bottom. I'm behind her family, my family, her Council, my Council, her secretary, probably mine, the generals and others she ran into on the battlefield.
"How should I know, I didn't even know you were back at the border until this morning," I reproached her. She just packed up and left. She hasn't left a single message, and while I thought she was solving something in Nerkam, she was already sword-wielding with Remis by her side.
"Right, I probably should have told you, things got complicated pretty quickly. Sorry," she picked up a pile of letters and walked over to the seat. She should have told me wherever she was going, she could have found a few minutes for me. But she prefers to do it all herself. Always. So what's the use of her apology? She will do it again at the first opportunity. "Remis and Darien already have the situation under control on their sides," she informed me, setting aside the messages along with the closed letters. At the very top lies an unopened letter from Jonathan. Why did she put it down? She usually opens his letters first.
"Won't you open it?" I asked, surprised.
"No," she replied, suddenly offended. I've missed something, the reason why she doesn't want to talk to him. "I don't feel like playing games with him."
"Games?" I closed the book I'd been flipping through, while she was sorting her letters. Andrea tilted her head to read the title in the old language Vitta er Desta - Life and Destiny. Her eyebrow rose in an unspoken question. "It's translated," I quickly explaied. What did she think I was doing with it, looking at the pictures?
"Poorly, I bet," she frowned, so haughty when it came to these things. I rolled my eyes and put down the book, her 'no one can translate it better' is so annoying. And with how often she repeats it, I'm starting to think it's not even true. "You won't find an answer to any of your questions in an ordinary book."
"Well, I can at least try. You didn't answer many of my questions." I should try to find out how many of these visions are actually coming true and how it works. Her assurances that I'm not in danger are fine, but they're no longer enough. My father is acting more and more crazy, and she herself is getting nervous. Which in itself says a lot about where I stand.
"Jonathan said he was going to Lemford for some contracts," she began suddenly. I don't even have to ask, that's a nice change. It would have been if she didn't mean it as a distraction from the book and the themes it brings. "I thought he would be back, I wanted to talk to him, because of the death of one of the commanders. But I found out that he didn't even go to the island. He had been in Nerkam all this time. In that stupid apartment of his. Because he needs to process what is happening." an icy voice told me she's angry with Jonathan. Really angry. "As soon as I start making my own decisions, he starts to act distant. It's like everything I do is done in spite of him. You know, he always does it. First he pretends to be a good father, and then he disappears to think about it. As if he had anything to talk about. I hate it when he does that!"
Why does she get angry about what Jonathan is doing? Just as he doesn't agree with her, she doesn't agree with him, and they both like to tinker with it. They are so terribly stubborn. The fact that Jon took time off doesn't surprise me one bit, though. Everything has changed. I don't know how to deal with it either. Andrea is the only one who doesn't see the change. Damn, she's leading everything here now. She is literally the center of everything people believe in, the one person who should run our world. How can she claim that everything is the same? The very opposite has happened. Every insignificant thing has changed. "There's a lot to deal with."
"You're on his side?" her brown eyes flickered over me in disbelief.
"I'm not on anyone's side," I reached for her hands. I don't plan on arguing with her. I don't care about that anymore. "But I get it, An. How much has changed since we met? Everything is getting more complicated every day. And on top of that, you have a habit of disappearing without a word. Literally. You do what you want and you don't care what he has to say." I'm not sure I'm still talking about Jon. I let go of her hands again and confessed what I had tried to escape. "I'm tired of it either."
"What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I'm saying. I want to know you're safe when I'm away." to find out in the morning that she went to the border, without really knowing why is terrible in itself. I can only imagine what is going on. And when she returned to help Remis himself, my imagination went down the hill. The Lord General, in charge of her army, can't help himself on the first day from the official start, it really doesn't inspire much confidence. Especially when he is to be the best in her service. "I don't want to find out you're playing soldier at the border."
"I'm not playing, I'm doing my job," she said angrily. "For centuries in a row and I'm much better at it than the others."
"But you don't have to be alone."
"I'm not alone."
"Oh yes, you are," I looked into the perfect brown eyes. Everyone listens to her because they have no choice, but who is with her because they want it. Because they don't just see her as their savior, whom they'll meet after death anyway. Who they can really rely on because they trust her. She won't let anyone in. Not that there aren't people who would risk anything for her, it's just that none of us can do that if we don't know what's going on. Her plans are based on everyone else's blind faith in her, and I can't do everything just because she wants me to.
"Do you realize how many people are behind me?" she asked irritably.
"Yes, everyone is behind you. You are afraid to let others decide. You do everything yourself. You didn't let me into your own world." I thought it was because she didn't trust me, but she's just afraid of what's going to happen. So she dismissed it outright. "I thought you didn't believe in fate."
"I don't. This has nothing to do with fate," she replied quietly. She tries to control hee own voice to make it sound calmer, but I know her betrer. "I know you don't like it, but you have to let me sort this out. Don't interfere," she insisted.
"Why? Shouldn't we figure this out together?" I force myself to sound calm too. Screaming wouldn't help either of us. Especially me. I'm starting to get a headache from all this. "Isn't that why we're doing all this? Why don't you let me help you."
"Because this is about my family, and it's not fair to involve you."
"I've told you this several times, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be a part of it," I had to stand up. This whole debate is ridiculous, soon she will be part of my family and I will be part of hers. "Besides, I feel like my life depends on it to some extent. So start talking," I ordered. I should have a say in it. Damn I do.
"And if I refuse?"
"You can't, not if I ask you to. That's our deal."
"The beauty of immortality is that you always have a choice," she stood up slowly. She came up to me and kissed me lightly. She ran her hands through my hair and continued to kiss me. I can see what she's trying to do. I grabbed the hem of her, actually mine, shirt and helped her get out of it. I'm really not in the mood to argue with her, and this one is much better. I'll get my answers anyway. She would never break her word. And her body interests me much more right now. I know every little bit of her and I absolutely adore her. It helps with a headache just as well as her blue pills.
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