I haven't come home this angry in a long time. I'm not in the mood for any of his 'We will talk later'. There are only a handful of people who knew I was going to Oakfort, and only one of them sent me there directly. And all his bullshit about trying to protect me makes less and less sense with every decision he makes. My doubts about whether I could trust him rose to new heights. I have never believed in coincidences and this simply cannot be ignored. I don't want to ignore any of it anymore. This bullshit of his ends.
And what upsets me even more is that she appeared there. The whole thing affects her much more than me. I didn't doubt her for a moment. She doubts herself all the time, but I know she can do anything. I just never thought it would save the whole city. I'm afraid of what she'll come up with now. What she had been afraid of all this time turned into reality pretty quickly. It doesn't matter if I'm mortal or not. That blonde wants my blood. And I dare not guess why. It probably won't be anything pretty, and that gives her the perfect reason to leave me out of everything. I'm pretty sure she will. We'll go back to the beginning, when she couldn't believe I could take care of myself, I could protect her.
Almost as if everything that had happened in the last few days was completely for naught. One visit to a shitty city where an army just happens to show up and everything I've accomplished is for naught. As soon as she wakes up, she will freak out. And I don't have the slightest chance to stop her or convince her of anything else. Because the blond scares the crap out of me. I imagined him quite differently. Not so tall, without a cruel look and with much slower reflexes. No wonder they failed to stop them. Even if he hadn't held me in place, I wouldn't have been able to help her. So far I couldn't think of anything I could do when she was fighting him. They were both so furious and fast. I've never seen anything like this before. All her practise matches are child's play against it. All the fights in which she and I were at stake seem amateurish in comparison. As if someone else was fighting.
And that scares the shit out of me. I want to help her and I don't even know how. I have no idea what kind of magic the blond is using, but I'll have to find out.
But first this.
Despite all the wolf statues and blue flowers in vases, nothing can welcome me home like my mother's distraught voice. She is always overly concerned by anything we do outside of this house. Out of her sight. Her supervision. And she makes it pretty clear and loud. “Edgar, this isn't just about you anymore! You got us all involved! Do you realize what you are doing?”
"This was never about me, Vivian."
“Of course it was! Look around, we are surrounded by your ego. We live in your world. It's always just about what you want. We wait, while you reach unnecessary milestones hidden behind the wolf’s sign. You are destroying everything that is left of our family.” at least she's right about one thing. Although I have no idea what they're arguing about this time. In recent years, they have been nice to each other only in the company of others. Actually, it's probably always been that way, but I've noticed it more in recent years. "Steven!" she shouted as soon as she saw me. "What happened? Are you hurt? Are you okay?" she ran across the room to get a closer look at me. The fact that I'm standing on my own two feet and without injury probably doesn't mean anything. He hasn't moved, but he doesn't seem surprised to see me.
"I'm fine." I have no way to back up my words. Unless I'd let her check me as thoroughly as Katherine did a moment ago. Nothing happened to me, An saved me from the fall, even the crazy blond. So, I'm fine. Aside from a few broken ribs and a couple of bruises, but that’s gone now.
“Is it true you were right there? In Oakfort? What happened?" she continues to ask. My mother's bright eyes scan me with fear as her hands slowly reach for me. As upset as I am, I don't want her to worry about anything. None of this concerns her in the slightest. It's just between me, father, and the Immortals. Fuck! I got pulled right into the middle of it all. I did exactly what she warned me not to do. Very clever move.
"I've been there and now I'm back. Nothing happened to me. I'm perfectly fine and so is Emmett.” I announced with a slight smile. "You do not have to worry."
"Emmett was there too!?" she angrily turned to father, who had forgotten to tell her that information. Probably by some oversight and not because he simply didn't want to. “You're right, none of this is about you. All that matters is the safety of our sons, right?”
"Both of them are perfectly fine." he instructed her irritably from the comfort of his chair. "If you haven't noticed, one of them is standing in front of you, Vivian."
"I don't understand you at all anymore, Edgar. How long will it stay that way? Whenever she gets involved, someone gets hurt. And who knows why, it's always one of us. Somehow it's always my son." with those words mother turned back to me. "If you had more sense, you'd end this engagement nonsense and,"
"If I had more sense, I'd let someone kill me straight away and wouldn't wait for someone else to save me." I interrupted her. I don't care about her reasons why I should stay away from An. Most of it is just her exaggerated fears. And the fact she just doesn't like her. "Will you excuse us? I need to talk to father.”
“Keep your witty remarks to yourself, Steven Atwell. There are things you don't joke about." she looked at me anxiously before shaking her head in displeasure, hugging me. It's not just witty remarks, but what's the point of explaining it to her. "This power struggle with Narral is none of your business, you shouldn't have gotten involved."
"I love you too. Please go.” it all concerns me more than she thinks. And my crown exceptionally plays almost no role in this.
"Is there something wrong?" father asked innocently after mother was out of sight. It's a very nice question. There's always something going on here, and he laid it out in a way that can be interpreted either way. Just like he's used to.
"Do you have a specific reason why you wanted me to go to Oakfort today or are you just trying to kill me?" my question is much more specific, I won't get an answer anyway.
"I didn't know you had a penchant for melodramatics. How did you come to that conclusion?” the smile left his face as he stood up. At the same time, he adjusted another one of the black suits he had come to like so much lately. No frills or accessories, just black. Instead of answering, I shrugged. He can figure it out himself, it's not exactly science. Part of me wants to ask him about the herbs, but I let it go. I can come back to it anytime. I need to know something else. If he's working with them like she claims, he must be the one who told them. The only one I told was Emmett and that was only because I was supposed to meet him and I knew I didn't have the time to make it. “I've only been protecting you all your life. Why would I change it now?”
“How the fuck am I supposed to know? You are acting like a crazy person! Mother sees it too."
"Vivian sees a whole host of things that escape ordinary observers. That's nothing new."
"All this time you claimed you would find time for me whenever I needed it. But that's not true either, because if it doesn't suit you, you don't care." I folded my arms angrily. "Not that you have anything important to do —since you got rid of the crown— except your research. I asked you to stop it.”
"Are you mad because I don't have the time to talk to you?" with doubt in his voice he tried to smile again. Am I asking such incomprehensible questions? He knows exactly what I mean. "Come on, Steven, you're an adult, I don't need to tell you where to sign and what I think about it. You are quite busy now with a new job and the role and naturally not only that. Neither of us simply has that much time anymore. You don't have to make a problem out of it."
"What's your problem? You know very well what I am asking you.”
"No, I really don't know."
"How many people knew I was going to Oalfort today?"
“If you're trying to imply I had anything to do with this…” he trailed off. He turned his back to ke so quickly, I didn't even get to see his expression. “Just because I'm not a member of the Senate, I don't automatically have to join the enemy. I'm still your father, that doesn't change." he came back to me, with two glasses, one in each hand. He drank from one, handed me the other. I took it, but immediately put it down again. “Steven, even if I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't do it at home. It would be very hard to excuse, plus I like the carpet you're standing on." he remarked.
"Funny. I'm just not in the habit of mixing painkillers with alcohol." I have so many meds in me I lost track of them before Katherine listed them all. But she mentioned the fact I shouldn't drink alcohol so many times it seems really important.
"Anything I should know about?"
"Yeah, just an fyi, falling from about three metres high really hurts. So do broken ribs.” especially when the impact zone is in a bush full of thorns. Father frowned in concern. He looks the same as An when I mention such a thing. It's actually quite encouraging, if he wanted me dead he'd probably be less worried.
Although, he's an excellent pretender.
“I thought I didn't care what you did because it was your business. Who you deal with, what agreements you make, but it's not. You have to stop. You say nothing changes, but everything changes, precisely because you are my father. I want to believe you have a damn good explanation for your behaviour, but I'm probably the last person willing to believe it. You've lost your seat, based on mere supposition. You know as well as I do that Andrea is not exactly patient. And I will not stand between you. She's ready to end it.”
"She's more patient than you think."
"Exactly the opposite. Actually." the Oakfort scene came back to me. I've never seen her like this and I can't shake the feeling I made her do it. It was absolutely insane, even before she lit up the whole town. And now, it's going to get even worse. Perhaps for the first time I can say she was truly pissed. She's done with all the peace and it's going to be pretty hard to calm her down. "I'd say she's had enough. After everything that happened today, it will never be the same.”
"You can't ask either of us to stop doing what protects you first and foremost."
"Well sure, it's about saving my fucking life!" he made me raise my voice. The good news is I can yell at him all I want. Worst case, he'll give it back to me. "How exactly do you think working with Teyber protects me?" his gaze rested on me. Ever since she gave me that letter, I've been thinking about how is father going to explain it. How can he justify it? "Do you even know where his experiments lead?" I remembered the woman's face from Dira’K. I was so naive and thought Andrea would come up with a way to help her. And she handed me her sword. And I just killed her. Even though I promised her the exact opposite. I did it because I believed in An more than myself. Damn, I should have come up with something else myself. But with what? "Because I do. What he brings back aren't people and never will be. It's far beyond what is permissible. Beyond what is still human and natural. And according to you, that's fine." there are probably rules I wouldn't break and it doesn't matter how much I want to. “It's just not sane.”
"You shouldn't get involved in such things. It's much more complicated than that. Of course it's not enough to pull someone back with his kind of expertise, it has to be organised and carefully prepared." that's a really lame excuse. "If there's a way to get in. Anytime and leave the door open..."
"Are you even listening to yourself? You're talking about stabbing the Heirs in the back." has he really lost it? "You know the way in and out. You don't need some crazy person to do that."
"But that's under their control. They shouldn't decide everything. Why do they have the only say about who lives and who should die?" how can he stand against them? Their world is exactly the same as his. Like mine.
"It's not like that, Dad." since when does he see everything completely differently? I thought we had the same opinion. Our families rule side by side. For quite a few years now. There is no reason to change it. "You had exactly the same options. You could have joined them, and I don't mean just in the Senate."
"Did you come to talk me into going back there and keep raising my hand on their votes?" he folded his arms in disdain. He doesn't understand me at all. I didn't say that. I never meant to say that. I don't care if it's him or Luke sitting there. I just don't want him to get killed. I don't want to lose him, just like he doesn't want to lose me. "This has gone too far. None of you want to see it. You can't ask me to let it go. They just don't like it because they don't like the idea. All four of them. Their power shouldn't be unlimited."
“They don't like it because you betrayed them. You betrayed Jon, An and me! Your own son! You're doing it right now! You stand against us. You know once Stephan connects it to you, he won't back down." he must know that. I get it, and I don't even know Stephan. The name alone is like an invisible threat, because that's how the First Heir is, righteous and unyielding. "You’ll let him kill you, because you can't admit you were wrong! You say you want to keep me safe, but instead you helped form an army of monsters about to invade Athran. Our home! All those people are dying, because you started it! You feel like everything is fine and you're betraying yourself. I've had enough of asking you. If you are not able to stay away, I will arrange it differently.”
“Will you? And how about, exactly? You should understand you are not on the same side as Andrea and the Heirs. Their plans don't include you, not in the way you think.” the smile returned to his face. Their plans can't include me, they always find some reason why it doesn't work. That's not exactly new, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up on it either. “Andrea always has a way of getting around you. She wouldn't have gotten the others' approval to awaken the Fifth if she didn't plan to use it. It's not her backup, that army will lead the attack and finish it off. That contract in the red files is just her insurance to protect you if all else fails, I wrote it myself. All of Zessia would fall before they reached Athran.” he continued calmly. He turned it on me very quickly. He can't prove he's right, so he'll explain to me where I'm wrong. What I allowed myself to believe. And this is not some whim of hers, but a planned scam down to the last detail. "You think I'm the only one against you, but you still don't understand. Where in Oakfort was Emmett? Why was he with the Fifth Army's Second Commander at his side? With her direct representative.”
In other words, each of them has some reason to justify why they can ignore me and my wishes with a clear conscience. The encouraging thing is that everyone underestimates me in exactly the same way. I know all along it will not be easy to get among them and gain some authority. I just didn't expect them to complain about it with every new situation. “If nothing else, at least you finally admitted you're against me.”
“Steven,”
“I'm sick of the deals you make behind my back and I honestly don't care if I have to explain it to each of you personally. I'm not your figure and I don't need your care. And I certainly don't need you to act like you're the only one who can somehow influence or change the world. Your dealings with Narral end here, including Teyber, Catarina and others. I don't care what you think you're doing or who you're trying to protect. I'm not like George and I'm not going to repeat his mistakes. I'm not going to die in this fucking war, believe what you want. You don't have the support of the Heirs, the Senate, or mine. And until the situation is resolved, you will surrender your seal.”
"You're stretching the point." he raised his voice. “Vivian is right, the situation in Narral is none of your business.”
"I'm not stretching anything!" I got angry. "I'm really glad you and mother finally found something to agree on, but that's about it. You dragged me into this, saying I should solve it together with Andrea, and you always manage to get involved. You have no idea how much you're complicating this! I don't need you in this. If you trust me so much I can make decisions for me then stop.” I held out my hand in front of me. I’m trying to convince myself to leave it there. I don't want to do it and he doesn't give me a choice. It's all starting to get out of hand. I am asking my own father to give up who he is. And for what?
“Everything I do,” he hesitated, I'm waiting for him to change his mind. He will say I have no right to make such a request. I'm legally at an advantage, but that's about it. Otherwise, he surpasses me in absolutely everything. As my father and the man I looked up to. He may or may not give it to me. It's probably just a matter of honour more than anything else... or respect. "I do for you and your brothers." he finished, took his ring off his finger, hesitated again, and finally raised his hazel eyes and ring to me.
I know very well he does everything for us, but that is the problem. He would do anything. And I desperately want to stop him and save him. I'm not ready for him to do something stupid and have Andrea or another Heir decide his fate. I can't let them decide if he is a risk, if he can keep his own power or his life. I know she's capable of backing down, but she won't overlook it forever. And neither will I. He has to come back, if only for me. As I remember him.
He has to stop this madness.
"What you're doing right now goes against everything you ever taught me." I took his ring before I could think it through and have the strength to do it. “This is where all the fun ends, Dad. It's not about my life anymore, it's about yours. And I'm afraid you're risking it too much." the desire to laugh left me.
“I said I'd do anything.” he says it as if it should justify him something. Getting killed is not a plan.
"But that's not an answer. Shouldn't be. I know you don't see it that way, but you're wrong this time. You have to trust me. Please let me handle this.” for a split second he gave the feeling, he might actually reconsider. Then I remembered who I'm talking to. "Dad," I bit my lip. Painfully enough to make sure I wanted to ask him one last question. The one I came for. "did you know the blond guy was going to be at Oakfort?" he looked at me confused "Julien."
He slowly shook his head. "No, Steven, I didn't know that."
The water behind the windows rolls lazily in a puddle, which they mistake for a lake here. Not that the body of water isn't big enough for that. Taluire is full of such lakes, larger and smaller, sometimes dangerously deep, other times unearthly beautiful. There is a supply of mineral resources here, but in my opinion it is the most beautiful part of nature in all Athran. “Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you waiting.
"You really like looking at the water, don't you?"
"I know you have a lot of work to do. I just needed to finish the report for yours,"
“I'm not here to check on you.” I managed to tear my eyes away from the silver lining. I guess I can understand why both of my brothers decided to settle near the water. Even though they needed the whole country to keep them apart. And personally, I see greater beauty right here, the green grass giving way to the dark sand, which is allowed to dissolve into the world above it. Really nice. "I'm just now realising how long I haven't been here. It's been a surprisingly long time."
"Well, after you were banned from climbing the mountains, you didn't enjoy it much here." mother happened to appear here during my ascent to the highest peak above the lake. The locals call it the beak because it's so awkwardly curved. I called it challenge number one. My priority here. And now a humbled opponent.
"It wasn't about the mountains."
"So what?"
"The fact I decided to climb up there and you didn't stop me." gray eyes narrowed. “I guess you didn't prove to be a responsible supervisor.”
"You were seventeen. I couldn't stop you. I didn't even want to. I went with you." he defends himself. Pretty stubborn. And I don't blame him. “Nothing would happen to you.”
"Luke, you don't understand me." he folded his arms haughtily. It reminds me a lot of mother on the exact day I left Taluire unplanned. It should probably have been the day I should have realised who I am and how everyone around me sees it. "Mother saw us from here, quite possibly from this window. And as it was far and high she called him. And he found everything wrong with our innocent amusement. As always. You got more papers and I got a terribly long sermon ending in the library, from where I wasn't allowed to go anywhere on my own."
“You talked to him, didn't you.” he can guess a lot of things on his own, like Emmett. I guess that should cheer me up. I don't even feel like nodding, but I did it anyway. "It just keeps getting worse and worse. I was hoping Jonathan would bring him to his senses, but he's not here half the time. Their service is dragging on quite a bit. And Andrea seems to have other priorities."
“They have no evidence, otherwise they would do something already.” that's what everything is about. I hope it is. Luke nodded thoughtfully. He had to think about it too, maybe as often as I do. The question is if it can help me in any way. “I think Stephan will kill him when he finds some evidence.” it feels strange to say those words. Separately they make sense, but together like this? A guy I don't know, the oldest Heir and all, can cut off his head at any time. And there aren't many who can prevent it. It's just a new fact and I should learn to accept it. Round and round it's only a matter of time now.
"I don't think so. Stephan actually quite likes him. He's impulsive, but he can control himself very well. Unlike Damien." I didn't even think of that. In a certain respect, the Second Heir is the most dangerous, he indulges in theatrics. And this is the perfect chapter for his book.
"According to An, Stephan will. If anyone." she's rarely mistaken. And this sounds like something she would think about. "I don't even know the guy. I have no idea how to stop him, and dad decided he doesn't care."
"You don't know him? Steven is just another variation of Stephan's name. He was there when you were born and after that. I'm surprised you don't remember." I don't remember. Not in the least. And Hallies' offspring don't exactly leave an easily forgotten impression. But many things around me are not as they should be. “Maybe you should talk to him.”
“I feel like I've already talked to everyone and it's going nowhere.” the First Heir wouldn't change anything about it. And even though I originally came for older brother's advice, I'm probably left with more questions than answers. "Why would they name me after him?"
“Because Wolfric is taken and Sevrin was probably not a good match for a king.” he smirked smugly. Just because he has a family name. Asshole.
“I mean it, Luke.
"I know you do. But I really don't know."
"Great. That really helped."
"So why did you come?"
"I don't know because you're older? And he’s your father as well as mine?" I'm holding on to the hope that he'll come up with some story where father acted even crazier and they still got over it. And now they laugh about it. Because that's just the way he is. Luke shifted his weight to the other leg. He didn't even sit down in his own living room. He just stands there. So he understands how bad it is. He wants to go somewhere and solve it, but there is nowhere to go. "I guess you're not going to tell me it's going to be resolved and everything will be fine..."
"It'll work out, Steven. If you can't see the way out, she'll find it. Just like at Oakfort. Just like always." I believe him. Normally he's a terrible jerk, but now it's tolerable. And he has known father and the Heirs for the longest time.
"Have you heard of it?"
"There's nothing else to talk about. Thalus was almost unstoppable. Mainly because you were the only one still standing on your own two feet. Have you thought about that?"
"No." I have more important things to think about. "Do you know how’s the Fifth going?"
"Like the army?" what else? "No why?"
"Just asking."
"Get me Emmett, now." I asked Basil, back in Dithune. I'm more than sure father wasn't lying, but I want to check anyway. And I want to hear his explanation too. I wonder what the fuck he thinks he's doing. Is he helping her because she told him to or because he believes she has a plan? He's been trying lately to be the older brother I need by my side. Is he like that… or not? I want to believe so. I can't be sure right now, maybe she asked him too and he couldn't refuse. He would never say no to her. That's one of the things where we differ. He cannot refuse her and never contradicts her. He devotedly fulfils her every wish because he loves her. Probably just as mucj as I do, only much longer. And she knows it and uses it all the time to her advantage.
Emmett would never ask him for that ring. He can't say no to him either. He wouldn't agree with his decisions, but he would never do that to him. He wouldn't take the ring, even if he handed it to him himself. He would rather end their argument by leaving. The same applies to Luke, only I had to take it. Without a clear plan of what I actually want to do with it. It won't limit his power. Not as much as I need. Not enough to make a difference. I need him to understand what he's doing. To realise it went too far. He needs to stop. I have to hope he realises what he's doing.
It's already bad enough. I know if he left now, I would talk the others into just forgetting about it and letting it go. Andrea would let it go. And I also know that if he makes one more mistake, not even my arguments will get him out of it. Nor her love for me. Nothing.
“Steve?” Emmett peeks into my office, already looking concerned. Well... "Did you want to talk to me?"
"Why else would I send Basil?" I slowly turn the ring in my hand. He didn't pick out all his initials like the others, it's simply E. On a blue stone with silver edges. A single letter is all it takes for everyone to know who they are dealing with. No wolf or decorations. No Steeles. A single fucking letter. "Can you go inside and close the door behind you?" his standing in the doorway annoys me as much as the sight of the jewel in my hand. "I spoke to father."
"Something important?" I threw him the ring instead of answering. He promptly grabbed it. Realising what he was holding, he almost let go again. He looked at me with a frown, then at the small ring in his hand, and then at me. "Did he just give it to you?" he asked in shock. I nodded silently. What did he thought? That I killed him and took him from his cold fingers? "But why?"
A letter landed on the table in front of me, it's from Jonathan. She woke up and is waiting at Alryne's camp. That's not good at all. According to her, we don't have time to talk normally. And she's going to be really pissed I didn't tell him about Julien. I know I should have, but I couldn't do that to Jon. He had never looked so scared before. It all took off. Too fast. And I don't know how to stop it.
“Because I asked him to, along with ending his dealings with Narral. Not that I expected him to actually do that.” I stood up, walked over to my brother and took the ring again. I'll have to stash it somewhere before I decide what I want to do with it. Or before I change my mind and obediently bring him back to him like the son I should be. Maybe this is something his beloved George would do. Sounds like him to me. Like me. That's fucked up. “It seemed like a good start. I thought you should know.” he looks at me scared. Maybe he's waiting for me to ask him for his ring too. If only I wanted to be the only Steeles with any official power. Or start with a really weird collection. "I don't know how else to explain to him that what he's doing is really bad. It's not about any of his beliefs anymore, I'm pretty sure he decided he wants to get killed. One way or another. And Stephan and Damien seem to really want to. Do you even know what he's been doing?"
"I heard something. It's a lot. But nothing will stop our father. Not even Hales." I had to bite my lip again. I feel how sore it is after the whole day.
"That's probably where you're wrong. He betrayed them, Andrea is pretty pissed and Jonathan has no plans to deal with him. Stephan is… I don't know what he is. It's very unpleasant." I would cry if I could. I need Emmett to stop this shit and help me stop him. It's his father too, dammit. I know I can turn to Luke on this, that he sees it the same way. But Emmett? "That's not the only thing I talked to him about. He had to prove to me he wasn't the only one who was wrong. You were at Oakfort with Lessius.”
“Yeah, we were just talking when the news came.” guessed.
“You were just talking with the two commanders of the Fifth Army?” I asked suspiciously. What are the chances my brother will lie to me?
“Well, Caelen was there too…” he admitted. I don't know what the point is that her general was there, but at least I can see how many people she trusts more than me. Or she is willing to simply sacrifice - in that case, I take it personally my brother is among them. "He told you how it is with the Fifth..." he nailed it again. He has a knack for figuring out what's going on around him, even if he lacks information. It is an admirable quality.
"You mean it's not some backup, because she wouldn't even wake them up if she didn't want them to lead the charge?" I can't ditch the biting tone. "Because he mentioned both."
"Of course he did."
"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?" I'd rather hear from Emmett. He got directly involved in it. And he should have told me, until now I felt like he was the only one who didn't see a little boy in me. If he tells me he just wants to protect me, I'll send him somewhere very far away, on a very insignificant diplomatic mission. "Do you have to obey her in everything?"
“You'd be surprised how often I argue with her. he sighed sadly. "Who do you think told her to stop treating you like a child and tell you everything, about their vote, about immortality, about Bal'rez…"
"How do you know about Bal'rez?" I stopped him.
"Father and more importantly Cat were there. It kind of concerns me…"
"But?" I prodded him. Sounds like my older brother is on my side. It all depends on that but.
"But this is different. Steve, I know you're upset. You have every right to be, and I'm not taking it away from you, but," he seems to be searching for the right words. "Andrea is usually the calmest person I know. And she always keeps her cool. But not this time, she's nervous, I'd almost say scared. So is Jim, they both might go crazy if I even mention the attack. I don't know what scares them so much, but if an Immortal is scared, that's really bad. And I won't argue with her about something like that. If she has a plan, I won't question it, because I have no idea what's going on." doesn't Emmett know anything about those two psychopaths? She had to tell him something like that, even though he's not in the habit of asking. It scares her so much she hasn't been able to avoid it all the years she's known him. “You know… Ans told you what's really going on.” he gasped in surprise. "So you understand..."
“I know what's going on, but I don't understand it any more.” I frowned at the ring in my hand and put it in my pocket.
"You know, I'll tell you the same thing I told her. You can shove the vision right in my ass, along with her need to protect you. I have a responsibility to you. To my king, to my little brother," this label hadn't been around for a long time. I know I'm younger. Everyone knows it. He doesn't have to bring it back in every time. "but if I can choose, I'd much rather have you stand by my side and cover my back. Because I don't think either of us should have to face this alone."
“That's surprisingly comforting.” I don't really want to stand there alone against the undead scum either. “Even if you're the one saying it.”
"Shut up."
"Make me, asshole. Her need to keep me away from everything pisses me off."
"It probably doesn't look like it from your perspective, but I think it bothers her too."
“She can simply change it.
He shook his head with a laugh. "I have no doubt you know her well, but you haven't known her long enough. She won't give up no matter what you do."
"Yeah, well, we'll see." a red folder with signed documents appeared on the table top. I quickly picked it up and jumped with my brother.
The city made of white tarp is unusually quiet and strangely peaceful. No one rushes anywhere, no one follows orders. The news from Oakfort must have reached here by now, many of the soldiers around us retreated to prayer or quiet contemplation. The only thing that snapped them out of it was when we walked by and they wanted to bow. It seems almost inappropriate to tear them out of something like that.
Finding the right tent in a flood of white is not difficult. Why only Remis has a tent here, but not her, eludes me. Maybe she plans to run it from somewhere else. Maybe she really won't be here. She wants to lead her army from a safe distance, perhaps even from Nerkam. That seems strange and rather improbable to me. She is always there for everything, personally. But what do I actually know about her plans? It could all be one big lie. However unlikely it seems to me.
I heard her voice before I saw her. Another tarpaulin divides the tent inside, but doesn’t block the sound in any way. "Your respectful silence is flattering, but I might soon conclude you are simply ignoring me." she's in a much better mood than me. She's just joking around. I suppose that will change.
Remis, with his advisors and generals stand transfixed, as does Lessius and the woman with white hair. It must be Vas'Tarre, Andrea mentioned she would lead her mages. She described her quite aptly. The people of Aet'Reon sometimes look quite strange due to magic, but this woman is unlike anyone I've ever seen before. Like her hair, her skin is white. And I don't mean fair, but completely white, and so are her eyes. It looks terrifying in a way that fascinates me.
Andrea is standing with her back to me, in front of a large map, everyone else is facing me. Their views changed. The frozen faces moved only to stare at me. Very annoying. "We need to talk." I announced in an icy tone. In the ensuing silence, it created an even more tense atmosphere. "Alone."
Everyone present started to move, she slowly turned around. Emmett stopped next to me, waved at her and gave her a guilty smile. I really doubt he would ever say no to her. But I trust he is telling me the truth.
And I must admit I am relieved when I see her measuring me with her arms folded. She scared me enough at Oakfort. First she started the duel and then she started with the light. One moment she was standing there and the next second her body collapsed limply to the ground. And then things got worse when Jon found out. I didn't think anything could scare him that much. And I should definitely stop carrying his unconscious daughter to him. That doesn't look good at all. Especially if I'm supposed to marry her. "So, what's the problem?" she asked, her gaze fixed on the folder in my hand.
“Well, I'm glad you're okay.”
"Yeah, same here. Jon mentioned…" dark eyes went up from the folder. "why the fuck didn't you warn him? You didn't say anything to any of the Heirs. What in the Light do you think you're doing?"
"He was freaking out by the time Kate released me. You may not have noticed, but his daughter cleaned out the entire city with one spell and passed out immediately after." how I should have informed him that what he already knew was nothing compared to what had triggered it. "It would kill him. Probably for good." Andrea frowned, I guess she understands how fucked up this all is. And also how her father must have felt. He probably hasn't recovered from it yet. "As for the others, it's none of their business. It's between us. Did you really think you were just going to screw me over?" I asked in an equally icy tone. I don't want to yell. This will only annoy her more and shorten her answers to yes and no.
"Just?" she wondered. "No. It took a pretty complicated plan and a lot of changes in command. Do you know how long it took me to get the right people in there? And make sure none of them talk or ask stupid questions? It's quite an achievement you figured that out just now." she explained to me her undoubtedly brilliant plan. Knowing that someone could so easily manipulate the people I'm supposed to command doesn't hurt one bit… though, who would defy the Heiress, right? Emmett stood next to her. Hoping for her to protect him.
"I hope you don't expect me to applaud you." this time I raised my voice. I was as surprised as she was. "Not only are you breaking the contract you made me sign, but you're once again showing how much you trust me!" I threw up my hands angrily. She didn't even move, she continued to measure me with her dark eyes, her hands still folded on her chest. She wrings her perfectly white shirt, but she probably doesn't mind.
"Can you just skip it for once? This has nothing to do with trust and you know it." it's something we just can't agree on. In my opinion, she doesn't trust me simply because she can't tell me about her plans. Even assuming I should stay away, I can know about it. And she doesn't trust me to obediently stay put after she tells me to. And if she doesn't tell me anything, she can later claim she didn't lie to me. And that turns me on even more. I'm not an idiot. "If I didn't trust you, you wouldn't know half as much as I do. And a little recognition wouldn't hurt."
“Don't provoke me, Andrea.” I warned her in a quieter, equally angry voice on my way to the map.
“I told you he'd be furious.” Emmett whispered to her, loud enough for me to hear it. Andrea smiled sadly but didn't comment. She needs to know what's coming next. She must have known that if I found out, she would lose her own soldiers. That's the stupid contract. She broke its terms by withholding information and I can take command if I want, right now. It's not a very favourable contract for her. But what good is an army if I don't know the whole plan? What would I do with all those soldiers? Fuck, she knew this too.
"Emmett, can you go get Remis?" I tossed the folder on the table and ran a hand through my hair. My brother gave her one last sympathetic look and left.
"You understand I didn't do it to piss you off." I deliberately avoided her gaze. The red line around the eastern border looks scary enough it could easily have kept me fully occupied. Compared to yesterday, they have greatly accelerated their progress. We don't have a week, we don't even have the promised four days.
"So what?" I shrugged. For the first time all day I realised how exhausted I was from all of this. Today was supposed to be just a quick meeting with Jon, a trip to Oakfort and that was it. But it isn't. Instead, another series of far more serious shits happened that I can't deal with. I don't feel like arguing with her. I find it completely unnecessary. I'll be fine if she admits she overdid it. And maybe then we'll figure out what to do next. I can't afford to lose her now. We both need to end this senseless war and stop father. "That doesn't excuse you."
“I'm not trying to make an excuse.” she said quickly, making me look up. What is she trying to do, prove to me how much better she is? That she's smarter just because she's older?
"What exactly are you trying to do here?" I straightened up and folded my arms. At least Emmett warned her, but furious is the wrong word. I've just had enough. I've gotten to the point where getting upset and yelling isn't going to cut it. She has already bypassed me so many times. The last time was at the celebrations and I, like an idiot, thought we had solved it after that. I thought she understood me. But she continues, more determined than before. And the worst part is that I understand it. I just don't want it that way. It can't go on like this. "Do you realise what you're doing? I don't care about your need to protect me. I don't care that you're Heir, Successor, Immortal and all that, I'm not your toy. I asked you to stop, but you obviously don't give a damn. We were supposed to be in this together, but you can't adjust to the fact that of all people, you have to listen to me. You say it's not about trust, and we both know that's a lie. What are you up to?"
"You don't care who I am? I don't have to explain my every move to you." her voice didn't even tremble, perfectly calm as ever. It's a rehearsed answer the Heiress gives to everyone. She has no other arguments, only her power. But it doesn't apply to me. I'm not gonna let her. "I don't have to defend myself to you. My decisions have their reasons. And you submit to them, you submit to me. Purely because I am Hallies Successor and that is exactly why you will do as I say."
“You are so unbearably arrogant.” I got out. "You make decisions about my life, without me, and you have the audacity to tell me you don't have to explain. That you have some fucking right to it. I seriously can't tell if you're kidding me or,” I stopped when Emmett came back with Remis hot on his heels. I waited until they both stopped next to her, each on one side. “I honestly don't care what you think you're doing. It ends here and now. Is it clear?"
"Your Majesty." Remis bowed first. He doesn't have much choice, even though I'm not his king, he can't ignore me. Emmett just shrugged, as usual he doesn't care whose orders he obeys as long as it avoids arguments and other inconveniences.
“An?” I turned to her. "I'm not going to let anyone tell me what to do. Not even you." I think she's wondering what her options are. She clenched her fists, as she always does when arguing with herself. She knows she can try all her titles on me. I really don't care if she inherited something or what the rest of the world thinks about it. I will never be her obedient sheep. "I need to know the truth."
"As you wish." she took a step closer to the map. “The Fifth Army, led by me, will lead the attack. The Eastern Army is spread around the border and will see to it that enemy reinforcements, if they have any, do not reach us. Part of the Southern Army is preparing in this camp, and another part is waiting in Alryne, ready to stand in for Athran. Except for Emmett, Caelen and Lessi, no one knows about it. Only those who are already in Alryne and now of course you.” at the same time, as she explains everything, she points to the marks on the map.
"How big of a loss are you expecting?" I know the enemy army is getting bigger every day but how big is she planning the battle?
"It's not about losses, we have to stop them here, under any circumstances." she bit her lip. "This has been going on too long, the Legacy is our priority and always has been," she paused as she heard approaching footsteps.
“Madam, the Second Heir,” a young woman, almost a girl, appeared beside her with a message in hand. She handed her a bright white envelope. "he says he needs to talk to you as soon as possible."
She opened the envelope, took out a black card. She frowned in concern and tucked the note back into the envelope. "Anything else?"
“Actually yes, a message for His Highness,” she pulled out another envelope and handed it to him.
"You seem too young to work for Damien." Andrea commented while Emmett read his own message. Every now and then she'll find a reason to disappear, maybe they'll both leave now.
"I don't work for him," the girl hesitated. Andrea's eyebrows shot up. “I’m just here instead of my sister, she…” the young girl blushed.
“That will be all, leave us.” she looked the girl over sternly. The girl turned and left before Andrea could think and change her decision. I'm not surprised, I hate this look of hers. It's so icy. "If there's anything you want to say back to Damien, give it to me now. I'll get it to him before I kill him."
"It's nothing important, he just says he warned me." Emmett laughed. We both looked at him, trying to figure out what was so funny about it. "He said having a younger brother is a pain in the arse." hazel eyes fixed on me. He's having a great time.
"At least his little brother is doing something useful. Which can't be said for Damien." she glared at the message in her hand before crumpling it up and letting it disappear. “You're going to have to take care of yourself here for a while.
"Are you going to explain your steps to us?" I asked teasingly. I'm pretty sure Emmett doesn't expect any explanation and Remis would never ask her directly.
"I think it's the Barrier, but I won't know for sure until I talk to him. And if I'm right, it's going to be really important that we turn this nonsense to our advantage."
"Can we help you?" my voice returned to a normal tone. The Barrier is one of those things that threatens us all. More precisely, whatever happens to that thing threatens us. It provides us with a more or less safe world. And I don't really want to find out what's waiting on the other side.
"No, neither of you can just walk there and back again. And I have a feeling we're really going to have to go to the other side." she looked at the map and then at her watch. I was quite surprised she hadn't forgotten them. She usually uses my watch. It must be around five. "Don't wait for me." she disappeared with those words.
"That went better than I expected." Emmett assessed.
"Which part did you think went well?" am I missing something or is this supposed to be another one of his attempts at a joke? Because it seems to me that everything is only getting worse. Since morning, everything is getting a little worse with each passing hour. First Oakfort, then a lengthy conversation with Jonathan about my safety and hers, and I left out one very important detail. Then my father and the stupid ring and now this whole thing. It can't get any worse.
"She gave you a free hand, I didn't expect that." laughing he put his arm around my shoulders. I hate when he does that. His hand is heavy. And I feel like a child, under the protection of my big brother. "And you're still standing, she would knock me down with that heiry look in a second."
She didn't give me a free hand. She admitted she lost, but that didn't diminish her chances of screwing me over again. She definitely has a whole list of backup plans. I should have one too. Damn, why don't I have at least one plan? "Go back to Sáules and prepare them. For real this time. I need my army."
"Steve?" the door slowly opened as a petite brunette peeked in. "I've been looking for you everywhere, are you working on something?"
She nailed that question. I'm in the process of getting up from my chair. I've been sitting here for a while now and I can't give myself a good enough reason to get up. Everything seems useless to me. I just wanted to leave the ring here, and I couldn't find a reason to continue on my way. I don't want to admit to the idea that I'm alone here. As naive as it is, I need to stick to the fact that I don't have to do everything alone. That I can still trust the people around me. That their little betrayals are for my own good, because they care more than they should.
But…
It's just… how am I supposed to trust people who are constantly bypassing me. They betray me one by one. How can I trust her when she's bypassing me? I want to get mad at her for this, but I actually understand. I understood the reason why she was so scared. I don't know how the blonde did it, but I felt completely helpless in his presence. I thought if I saw him I would kill him instead of her, but I couldn't even move. If she wasn't there, he could do anything to me and I wouldn't stop him. I had no choice.
I didn't even stop him from killing those kids before. I brought them there myself and only one of them survived. The little black haired boy. And only because she came there. I could just direct him to inevitable death.
I didn't save anyone and I needed her help to survive.
So what should I do about it?
How do I get her out of this?
I'm powerless.
“Steven?”
“I'm not working on anything, I just stopped here for a while.”
"Is everything okay?"
"In the middle of a war? Hardly."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, I really don't want to fucking talk about it." I'm tired of all the talking. It actually makes me sick. I would like it to solve some of my problems, but I have achieved the exact opposite. I'm actually considering going straight to bed. I'll just hang in there and hope tomorrow is worth something. The chances are slim, but there's hope. I mean, what worse could possibly happen? The Barrier or something similar would have to fall… that's where An is, fuck. I want to stay calm. But she's preventing me from doing so at the moment. "Do you need anything, Jossellin?"
"I need you," she stopped in front of my desk with a smile. She is wearing one of an endless supply of yellow dresses. I never quite understood why she likes this particular colour so much. It’s so annoyingly southern and doesn't suit her at all. She's not even tanned. "or rather the Council needs you."
"Can't you solve your own problems for once without my help?" this is the last thing I want to deal with right now.
"I'm sure this will come as a shock to you, but we can handle a lot more than you. In fact, we run the whole thing here when you don't have the time." I so fucking doubt it. All they can do is come up with a ton of complaints and reasons why something doesn't work.
"It's your bloody job to do so." I warned her sharply. They're not the only ones doing something here.
"What's got you in such a bad mood? Don't the rays of Light reach the Heiresses' bed?"
“Jossy, I'm not going to discuss with you what The Heiress and I do in or out of bed. Never." had she always been so annoyingly jealous? "What do you want from me? Do I have to sign something?"
"I already told you. We just want some of your precious time." she suddenly looks sour like a lemon. And her request makes no sense. Time for what? "Did you forget about the dinner with us?" she asked spitefully. I completely forgot about it. They want to repeat this crap every week. I have to devote an entire evening to them, every eight days. Jossellin turned, I hoped she’d leave. But she just walked over to the side table and picked up a glass.
"You can't forget something like that. I would just have expected Basil to point out to me that it was time, not a member of the Council." actually I haven't seen Basil all day. But that's more my fault than his. I disappeared unplanned in the morning and did not return until late in the afternoon. And everyone has already dealt with what happened in Oakfort and what it means. Besides the obvious that Andrea is really his Successor and now everyone knows about it, there is talk that I was with her and carried her away. Which certainly doesn't make things any more complicated, since everyone but me fell down with her.
"See how nicely we take care of you?" the ironic tone doesn't suit her. She's never sarcastic and it doesn't suit her at all. Actually, she's not even good at jokes. The days when I thought Jossellin was fun are gone for good. The only fun I had with her was in bed and when my father got upset because I was with her in the first place. And I don't enjoy that anymore either. "Drink," she handed me the alcohol. Besides not having eaten all day, I can't be sure how much of the medicine has already left my body. I'm guessing not much. "try to smile a little and you'll be over it in an hour. We just want to hear what happened at Oakfort."
I drank, hoping to get sick faster and leave. "Yeah, you only care about me when you want something." I grunted. “Basil should bring me news, where the fuck is he?
“Well, we'll find him on the way.” she sighed. "Maybe he's sick of you too. Have you considered giving him the night off? At least once?"
"I'm not keeping him here. He can leave whenever he wants.”
"Just like the rest of us?" she laughed softly, patting me on the shoulder carefully. "It's nice of you to think that, but maybe you should remind him."
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